BONE CHINA pt.21
For those of you who have no idea what he’s talking about, jump waaaaaay back to the year 2009 and a crummy little band called ‘Scapula’.
Including Hitler (or rather ‘Fitler’) in the SCAPULA-verse was one of those mistakes I made during the earliest days of the webcomic; not because using Hitler is really that offensive anymore, but because it’s such a common ‘cheap laugh’. I’ve always kind of regretted having ever used him in the first place…and, more importantly, having never properly written him off.
Well, he’s dead now, and until dead people start getting up and walking around again in this comic (which wont happen) rest assured he wont be back. Serves him right for ruining Scap’s happy home.
I actually remembered that as soon as I saw him.
Last flashback of panel 5 is the best. He looks so much like a goofy cartoon burglar. Actually, he makes me think of the Hamburglar.
The Hitlerglar? Oh man, now I’m starting to imagine that played out in a commercial: Hitler Hamburglar trying to capture Mayor McCheese and all the other burger-headed populace, teams up with Il Duce Grimaceulini, until Ronald McDonald and Birdie storm the beach of Normandy and…
RIGHT STOP THAT! It’s silly! Very silly indeed! Started off as a nice little joke about Hitler and now it’s just gotten silly!
That leaves too many openings for highly inappropriate oven jokes. Besides you can’t be totally down on Hitler, after all he did KILL HITLER. (I know that joke is all used up, just like my supply of cake frosting.)
Indeed, Hitler did what all of the Allies at the time wished they could have done: he killed Hitler. They proudly saluted his great accomplishment afterwards, until they realized, “Hey….waaaaait a minute….”
What? Oh no, did El D. really have to urinate on Ed O’Fitler? Hit, Hurt, Kill, sure; but Piss?
He really is a filthy, degenerate bastard. He can piss off anyone!
Ok, that was… interesting. Still, doesn´t answer, what Bone China did in Backstage.
Backstage? Like, during a concert or a play? She probably makes sure all of the costumes are appropriately dark and gloomy for the production, then checks in with the director who’s off sulking in a dressing room.
Ohhhh… HIM! Yeah, my guess was way off. Now that’s one cold dish of revenge, there.
Alas, he discovered, too late, the downside of using hyperviolent morons as henchmen.
I kind of wished more readers had thrown their guesses out; your guess actually wasn’t a bad one at all, considering that the last time we saw [CHARACTER THAT ABEL HAD SUSPECTED OF BEING THE TROUBLESHOOTER] she was vowing her revenge on Scapula.
Then again, there IS a pretty long list of people who would want to make Scap’s life miserable. Fitler just happened to have camped in front of the line, ‘Phantom Menace’ style.
Paid off about as well, too, but unlike the Phantom Menace, at least it was over for him quickly.
His revenge would have been much more painful with twenty minutes of pod-racing.
And Bone China’s clearly and completely off the hook and Scap let his paranoia piss away a chance at happiness. Again. Sigh.
We still have a couple more pages to go. Maybe we’ll all learn a lesson!
Don’t be silly! Learn a lesson? Us? Heaven forbid!
Ed O’Fitler is the greatest name ever in webcomic baddery.
Why does that image of Alice Cooper, look like YOU!!
I wish I had thought of that name back when he first appeared. Oh well.
I am flattered by the comparison you make between myself and the Shock Rock king. Alice Cooper is a lot older, yet probably in much better shape, than myself. I am not worthy!
I kinda of thought that Your Alice Cooper looks a little like Hypnausea. Which makes both of those things extra funny to me.
Hypnausea’s character design is partially based on Alice Cooper. The main difference between them is their personalities: Alice’s act is mostly about having fun, while Hypnausea is all about hyping himself and scoring some easy sex.
Hey, to each their own!
So really you are a combo of Alice and Hypnausea
Them’s fightin’ words!
I, for one, would buy their album.
If they ever get around to making one! I’ve known a number of garage bands in my time, and the sad majority of them never get around to doing much.
Actually, I would just like to see the Miscreants take on Scott Pilgrim’s band, if only to see the carnage that would ensue.
I didn’t comment on last weeks’ because I didn’t really have much to say. This week though…
Yeah, most people wouldn’t have guessed it was the ol’ Hitler gag who was malignant criminal magnate masterminding the Miscreants (try saying that three times fast). I thought he was just a one-off spoof. Just goes to show nothing’s for sure with you, mate.
The Miscreants somehow look much less intimidating shivering over hot cocoa in blankets (and yet another contradiction in Homophobe’s personality – he’s, well, a homophobe, but there he is with a pink and white-bobbled blanket over him and lavender pants on…)
I don’t think the Miscreants will go legit (how could they anyway, if they want to stay out of jail) but hopefully they’ll pack up and go somewhere there’s less cops after them and Scap and the others will have less to worry about.
Once again, I really like your art style. When I travelled back through the archives, it’s apparent your work has improved – not just in the art itself, but in the plot development and editing. Keep it up!
I wonder what fate has in store for Edgar now…homeless, loveless, and penniless…
I didn’t know how obvious the Troubleshooter’s identity would be or not; the only real clue is that the Miscreants were a rock band, and the only other rock band that’s ever appeared in the series were the emo boys. It sort of makes sense…kinda, sorta, inna way, if you kind of tilt your head at an angle and squint, maybe take a step back, then focus on the multicolored dots until you see the hidden image (it’s a sailboat).
The Miscreants vow at the end has all the same rings to it as a BS New Year’s resolution: they’ll probably put a good solid half hour of work into trying to change, then get drunk and beat somebody up.
Thank you for the nice comments about the art; I can only hope that I improve the more that I do this. As for the plots, hey, I’m probably always going to be flippin’ insane, so I hope you will all continue to enjoy my loony stories and irrelevant ramblings!
Funny! And intriguing… I love panel 7!
Awww, thanks! Panel 7 is now my lucky panel (of today’s page, anyway).
What can I say? I laughed. Maybe I’m just an easy mark for the cheap joke!
Also, I haven’t heard the phrase ‘Colder than a witch’s tit’ in a dog’s age, and I always laugh when I do!
Isn’t it nice to wrap up loose ends?
It’s a pretty tasteless phrase, so I saved it for a pretty tasteless group of characters!
Glad you got a laugh out of it; I figured the readers would fit into one of two camps: the group that enjoyed the surprising reveal of the Troubleshooter, and the group that thinks that I have no brain. Here’s hoping both groups will have a strong membership!
Hmmm….so it wasn’t Bone China after all. I kinda figured you wouldn’t make it that simple and easy, you craftsman of creativity.
I had to go back and reacquaint myself with ol’ Ed O’ Fitler, but that was nice way to get your revenge: ice, ice cold.
Now I’m wondering about the best way for Scap to get back in BC’s good graces. I guess he could blame everything on his mental illness. Hahaha! Or either he can do like I would do and just play it off like he never said anything accusatory. Just stop by her crib, say “whassup, babe?” and head for the fridge asking “Soooo….how was your day? Your mama doin’ ok?”
Yep. That’s what I would do. 😀
The most pathetic route for having her take him back is to get really drunk, stand outside of her window and shout random things at her until the neighbors call the cops. Such a staple of romantic reconciliations these days…
In any event, would Scapula have any chance of rebuilding this relationship? Or is he too much of a bitter bastard to go back? We’ll find out next week.
As for Fitler, we WONT be finding out how he’s doing next week, because we already know now. He’s dead! DEAD!
He could stand outside her window and play the other really popular song by Peter Gabriel. (Although I think that’s been done somewhere) but for some reason I just keep thinking the worst plan Scap could do is get Hypnausea to dress up like a lady and just walk repeatedly past her place trying to make her jealous.
Of course this inevitably fails when The wig slips or when Hyp sees a leather boy and goes running, leaving Scap standing there looking dumb all over again. (Because, poor guy, he’s got the Devil’s Luck)
Oh! Oh! Oh! FAILURE MONTAGE!!!
…egad, there’s a frightening thought. Too intense for this comic to handle!
Although I have to wonder if anyone ever told Fitler that he was “worse than Hitler”?
I’d imagine that would be along the lines of telling an Elvis impersonator that he’s “worse than Elvis”…probably not too flattering.
I guess it makes you wonder why Ed would have chosen to take on the likeness of Adolf Hitler…or even if it was a conscientious choice at all. Maybe it was just a coincidence and he just looked a lot like Der Fuerher. Looks like we’ll never know…because he’s dead! DEAD!
He may be dead, but he’s no Zodi Jr.!
I like Eddie Izzard’s bit about Hitler’s honeymoon – to paraphrase:
“Hey Adolf, how should we spend our honeymoon?”
“In a ditch, on fire, covered in petrol!”
“Oh Adolf, you’re so romantic!”
I loved that bit. Eddie Izzard really chewed into Hitler (“cause he was a mass-murdering f__k-head”)…in fact, I should have had the ol’ Executive Transvestite run in and kill him!
Apparently, the Miscreants were all out of cake…
So their only choice was “or death”!
😀
“ Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?”
“I asked for the vegetarian.”
“Ah, yes, the vegetarian, yes! There we go, Mr. Hitler. There we go… Like a bit of wine? Thank you very much…you Nazi sh__head!”
wait wait wait, fitler would hurt someone who follows his beliefs?…or atleast has a tattoo of the symbol he stole and corrupted out of its true meaning…
thats just low :/ i bet scap had that thing tattoo’d when he and old fitler were completly wasted or somthing
I probably mentioned this theory before, but I think the majority of people with swastika tattoos are probably completely unaware about the politics and history of the National Socialist party. It’s mostly just a big ‘middle finger’ to society in general, and Scap is probably no different.
Scap and Fitler stopped being friends a long, long, long time ago, and even if these bozos actually WERE involved in Nazi ideals they still probably wouldn’t have much respect for one another. This happens all the time in politics.
This is the Day His Music Died. Or rather, was horribly stomped and viciously beaten to death! Way to tie up some loose endings!
There’s a swan song for ya! “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
So it was Hitler all along. I wouldn’t have dreamed to guessing this. He’s such a pathetic villain here. His luck to be put out of his misery.
I totally like the ‘we aint no nazis’ line by the blonde blueeyed tall Homophobe. Bet he was O’Filters price choice.
…Waaait – Alice was Edgars Sidekick?! since when got hell frozen over? Isn’t Ed giving Scap to much credit?
There were a lot, and I mean a LOT, of options I had for the Troubleshooter’s identity (and if I’m ever brave enough I’ll publish the list). If you think Hitler was a strange choice, you should see who else I had considered (actually, no, you shouldn’t…).
Alice was most certainly NOT Scap’s sidekick; Ed just misread the whole situation. I mean, let’s face it, he may be a criminal mastermind, but he’s still not the smartest cookie in the jar!
Oh, and now that we, the readers, know who was behind it all, the question becomes, will Scapula ever find out who was behind it all?? Or is this going to be another dangling thread to return to the strip in the future?
It depends on whether or not the Miscreants quietly dump his carcass into the Bay or go parading it around on a stick shouting, “WE KILLED HITLER! WE KILLED HITLER! LA LA LA LA LAAAA!”
I leave it to you to decide how smart they really are.
There aren’t too many bright bulbs in this comic any old day…
DadaHyena, you always know how to wrap up a comic beautifully with your last panels. This one is no exception! Leads me to want to know more!
Hey, thanks Jenn! Happy to hear I’ve hooked your ear (uh…eyes? Whatever).
I have considered ending all the comics with the big Monty Python footing squashing down, but that would be silly.
Huh, guess the girl wasn’t the one behind the Misfits’ plans, D’oh!
I see the tribute to the death of Dog Doo Doug in the next to last panel.
I love this strip!
Hey, someone actually remembered Dog Doo Doug! That’s either touching or disturbing (but not as disturbing as touching Dog Doo Doug).
Well, I found this comic only a month ago, so it ain’t that hard to remember for me, then again, people says I have a very good memory.
This comic is awesomesauchtzer (that’s german for awesome sauce)!!!
Nothing goes better with pickles and candy corn than a big jar of AWESOME SAUCE!
I found these bad guys cheap . Surviving after falling from golden gate bridge, seriously ? Do you know it’s a favorite place from people to commit suicide ?
And peeing on a dead body, but sorry, but this reminds the recent scandal of U.S. troops urinating on dead Afghan bodies. Also I found this depiction of hitler too stereotyped .
Holy moley…the ghost of Andy Rooney just left one of his cherished spiels!
“And another thing, I find that rock and roll groups are somewhat mislabeled. They don’t resemble rocks, nor do they resemble rolls, like the kind you find on a restaurant table. I think that ‘band’ is the greatest misnomer of all, since they aren’t physically grouped together as if tied with a rubber band.”
“And what is all this about shaking my groove thing? I don’t know if I have a groove thing or where it is, but I’m pretty certain that I could get arrested for shaking it in public.”
I read all of these in Andy Rooney’s voice. It works, it works!
…A little late to the party? I can understand your disgust but previously El Disgusto was shown carrying around pictures of borderline necrophilia and bestiality. These guys were cheap from the beginning.
Also the offending panel, which if you look at it on its own is disturbing, is not above the depravity of things we have seen before (swastika tattoos, headshots, a man getting his arm bitten off, what that one woman did to Hypnausea, etc.).
I’d say it’s high time I invested in some good medication, because that all sounds like some pretty sick stuff to see from a cartoonist! And you know what’s the scary thing? I don’t even remember doing most of it! It’s all a blur of depravity, obscenity, and unholy naughtiness!
Sorry, folks. I think I need to go lie down for a while and think a few things over (namely whether or not I should do that story I planned about Hypnausea robbing a K.Y. factory…).
Well, Aidan, I’m not sure what to say here…
You did give us a tiny clue (rock band) while masterfully leading us down the moldering graveyard path. Personally my money is still on Bone China. We don’t yet know who she is or whence she came. It was all too easy for her to snuggle up to someone who she knew was a pathetic loser and then accuse him with malicious aforethought of being a pathetic loser.
Not to mention her convenient disappearances at just the right times to let the thugs move in and slag Scapula and whatever he was interested in. Also wouldn’t a crazed mastermind (if he was the real mastermind) capture, or send the thugs to capture, the (anti-)hero’s significant other and torture them or summat?
There is still something afoot, and it probably has a spiked metal toe (or spiked heel) on it covered with the blood of its latest victim.
(Gosh! Way too many parentheticals).
Egad! Settle down there, Jande…have some tea and a cupcake and relaaaax….
Who can say? All I know is we have a couple of weeks left to finish this up, so maybe you’re all right…or maybe everyone was wrong! Maybe the real mastermind behind everything was that damned Dadaman, out to ruin everyone’s day!
In any event, I hope no one comes to kill me if the story didn’t resolve the way you were secretly hoping it would (i.e. Scapula gets run over by a truck).
Heh. Sorry. I’m calm now. Took me meds and all that.O.O
But seriously, Aidan, there is no rancor in my first response. I have no secret hopes of the story turning out in any particular way. I’m just that annoying person who always interrupts everyone who’s talking by guessing out loud what they are about to say. I also read crime novels so I can guess whodunnit. If I’m still guessing, its a good story. <3
No worries! There’s always plenty of other people who will dig into me if the story doesn’t turn out the way they want (and they all know who they are, right? RIGHT? Hang your heads in shaaaaame).
No idea what you are talking about, Dada … really …
Bah … stupid website engines that try to parse anything enclosed in gt/lt symbols. Reposted:
“::snickers as he sharpens the tines on his pitchfork::
No idea what you are talking about, Dada … really …”
I call lead guitar!
Wait… which side of this thing is… so… the strings go… hang on…. hang on…
Dummy! You’re supposed to use the drumsticks on the long part with the knob dealies on the side of it!
No, wait, I’m holding it upside-down…