Keep an eye on those bones; you’ll still have them years and years after the time you almost picked a fight with a derby girl. Remember, folks: pride is not worth the pain!
As for fighting on skates…well, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it, but maybe some people get used to it. Hell, I’ll bet there’s someone out there who can kill a man while riding a unicycle.
The difference is purely in the human physique. Center of gravity and all that. You can build up a lot of speed on skates. Momentum = Force and so on. But at the same time it’s really easy to be knocked to the floor. Where you can brace and steady yourself easily if you’re on your own two feet, attaching wheels to your feet makes that much more difficult. Often enough, hitting the floor can be all it takes. If you’re dropped onto a solid enough surface, it can do a lot of damage all on its own.
Not that it’ll help Scap and friends against a whole team. Maybe they’ll show us their villain chops? Scap’s almost been competent lately, and he is armed.
Well, whaddaya know? It sounds like we have a new combat expert in the comments section! Maybe Lady Jenn has something to say about the rarely seen roller skating battle technique, but in any event I think I just learned something new.
Great feedback, King of Zeroes! Now let’s see if Scap and the crew can apply the physiques lesson to their advantage!
Yeeeaaaahhhh, normal people on skates I’d call a bad scene. King of Zeroes has some very good points made. HOWEVER. These girls are Roller Derby veterans. Wiping out even at full speed isn’t going to do a lot of harm to them. They know the tricks, they have the gear, and they’ve done it before. Yes, you can probably knock them down much, much easier than without the skates, but the crew is massively outnumbered, and someone moving on roller skates can hit HARD, especially if you’re distracted knocking down one or two others. Plus, good luck getting space. They’re going to be all over you. Tracking fast moving swarms of foes and anticipating individuals isn’t easy, trust me. Especially coordinated ones.
Throgor’s mass thrown around is their best tool here, unless Scapula actually opens up with that gun (bullets trump all in a melee) or Hypnausea brought some area of effect nastiness. Of course then they still have to deal with Knuckles Sam. Good luck guys!
It was only a matter of time until Edgar screwed up again, after all. Scary thing this time is: this time Hypnausea was right instead!
Quick, Scap! Fire some rounds in the air! Fists still ain’t nothing against a bullet at long range. After that, get out of there real quick! You ain’t gonna listen are ya? Pshaw! Here’s hoping Bombastar followed them and finally manages to make a difference, even if it is accompanied by whining and generally being an annoying walking time bomb! Heh.
Hypnausea may have been right, but he sure as hell didn’t voice his opinion until it was far too late. Further proof that the guy knows nothing about timing (see last Thursday’s comic for further testament to that statement).
What will Scap do in this scenario? What SHOULD he do? What would YOU do? Quick, make the call!
Assuming I wasn’t already locked and loaded in Scap’s position…Right.
Step 1: Take away their advantage of overwhelming numbers. Toss a smoke bomb or flashbang on the ground. No matter how many of them there are, they can’t hit what they can’t see!
Step 2: Find a more favorable grounds for either fight or flight. Surrounded in an open area, I’m dead. If I can get to the door, get back into the corridor, or if I can’t, look for open vents over the lockers. A locker room should have them, for clearing out shower steam, and I’m guessing this building (like so many public works in San Francisco) is a relic from an older age when vents were still large enough to crawl in.
Step 3: Retreat if I can and try again another time, or if for some reason I can’t, set a trap. A stadium would be practically full of goodies to use in such a situation with enough brains and time. Weights, balanced locker deadfalls, trip wires, water-slickened floors and my personal favorite: boiler rooms with high pressure release valves.
Awesome points overall, Treike! I especially liked how you point out in #2 that San Francisco has yet to update a lot of their buildings (sure, they can change the front of them to look more modern, but they’re still going to be filled with crusty old pipes from the 1900s!).
I also got a big laugh out of #4, especially if he’s saying it with sarcasm. Oopsie!
Scapie’s failure to plan ahead and do some scouting has come to a surprise to him, as usual. Bolt for the door boys and try to escape, standing your ground is fatal. A T-rex would be nice for a getaway vehicle.
Remember, kids: do your homework, no matter how boring or tedious or pointless it may seem, because the next time you race out of the house and face down a gang of bullies you’ll wish you had…no, wait…hang on, my analogy ran away. Screw it. Do some math, Scapula!
There’s a traditional “sneaking around” theme music that plays in a lot of cartoons and old comedies; I don’t remember the name of the tune, but I’m sure you all heard it. Just imagine it in your head as you read that panel of them tiptoeing about.
…sigh. So after everything, Bone China, Scapula’s big speech to Throgor, that promising campaign start, all that build-up, Scapula is just going to get fucked over AGAIN, this time by a bunch of derby girls? Don’t get me wrong, I doubt even an entire army of highly-paid hitmen armed with rocket launchers could take on a force as mighty as derby girls, but it still seems a somewhat anticlimatic end. Oh well.
“Anticlimactic end”? Buddy, we haven’t even come close to the end yet! Wait and see what happens next before assuming they all met a grisly end at the roller skate-adorned feet of the enemy.
Of course, for future reference, Scap should look into rocket-launchers.
I hope that with all of Scap’s recent bluster and bravado, he’s prepared to fight his way outta this recent development. By the look of the last panel, however, I do think he was caught extremely unaware. Good luck, Scappy!
We shall see the answer to that tomorrow. Maybe’s he’s gotten better, or maybe he’s talking bigger. Either way, might as well aim for the best (even if you can only talk about it)!
So prior to reading this, I received an email mentioning this and asking if I could take this situation myself. And while everyone in the world can fall prey to the smallest factor or error, I would like to go on record as saying “This is exactly the kind of situation I train for.”
In a situation such as this, where targets are moving in swarms at high speed and seeking to blindside you, and instability is prevalent in all of your foes (roller skates are just a more controlled version of slippery ground like mud or ice), your best bet is to stand your ground and force them to move. While this seems like exactly what they planned, the difference is that you can, and will, force them to minimize their attacks if you remain stationary because large numbers of foes can’t attack all at once unless they can move past you as you move. If you’re still, they have to move in and out, and can’t afford to get in each others’ way, especially at these kinds of speed.
To most peoples’ surprise, I’m primarily a student of soft martial arts styles, IE those using the foes momentum and body mass to deflect them and redirect them. The faster a foe is moving the more harm you can cause them to do to themself. As opposed to just knocking them down and dispersing their force, an optimum situation here is to increase it while causing their instability to reach a critical point….. IE when they move, increase their speed while forcing them to go down in the worst possible way. Roller derbies are nasty as hell, but most of these girls aren’t typically being made to go down at full throttle with their necks coming in at a breaking angle and their legs three feet in the air. After the first few drop, the floor is cluttered and the rest have their movement limited.
Of course, good old irish pugilism would work wonders too. Stick and move, lighting jabs. When you control all the stable ground, that can keep them well back. Or of course, you can just put a bullet in enough of them.
My main question is: where’s the other lads? Hehehehehehehe.
Ahh, the old “circle the wagons” strategy (or musk ox circle, if you enjoy zoology). It’s probably much easier when the attackers aren’t on horseback or shooting arrows at you, but not everything in life plays out like the old movies.
Tripping them up also sounds like it would work wonders, although it mostly reminds me of that scene in the Disney “Jungle Book” cartoon where the elephants all crash and tumble into one another (and if my derby friends knew I was comparing them to elephants, well…let’s see, I think I should study these tips on how to survive an attack like this!).
When all else fails, do what the Irish do: fight them! You’d be surprised how often that credo comes up.
Dada… Love the MST 3K! Nice goin’… and the giddy sneaking upping you captured so well… and now that I’ve polished off that box of Pop Tarts… I can say Pththththt!
“Polished off that box of Pop Tarts”…is that a codeword? Is there some secret Bridgett strike force going into action upon hearing that command?! Egad! Here they come!
…and there they go. They wanted coffee. Silly little Bridgetts!
ha… Dada… Grey noted that I am easily distracted by Pop Tarts in the toon comments previous… So codeword(s): polished off a box o’ Pop Tarts … means uh… wait… what were we talking about?
See? Even *talking* about Pop tarts around Brig is like waving a bag of shiny pennies at a pack rat. Not enough Ritalin in the world to keep her focused after that. 😀
It would have made a nice battle strategy in medieval times: catapult a box of Pop-Tarts over an enemy’s wall, then let Brig tear through the front gate to get to them!
They’re gonna feel that in the morning.
I sure as hell wouldn’t pick a fight with a Roller Girl. It’s not about whether or not I think I could win, but how I prefer my bones remain unbroken.
Although it is REALLY easy to kick someones ass if they’re on skates. Wheelie shoes don’t provide the best footing.
Keep an eye on those bones; you’ll still have them years and years after the time you almost picked a fight with a derby girl. Remember, folks: pride is not worth the pain!
As for fighting on skates…well, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it, but maybe some people get used to it. Hell, I’ll bet there’s someone out there who can kill a man while riding a unicycle.
The difference is purely in the human physique. Center of gravity and all that. You can build up a lot of speed on skates. Momentum = Force and so on. But at the same time it’s really easy to be knocked to the floor. Where you can brace and steady yourself easily if you’re on your own two feet, attaching wheels to your feet makes that much more difficult. Often enough, hitting the floor can be all it takes. If you’re dropped onto a solid enough surface, it can do a lot of damage all on its own.
Not that it’ll help Scap and friends against a whole team. Maybe they’ll show us their villain chops? Scap’s almost been competent lately, and he is armed.
Well, whaddaya know? It sounds like we have a new combat expert in the comments section! Maybe Lady Jenn has something to say about the rarely seen roller skating battle technique, but in any event I think I just learned something new.
Great feedback, King of Zeroes! Now let’s see if Scap and the crew can apply the physiques lesson to their advantage!
Yeeeaaaahhhh, normal people on skates I’d call a bad scene. King of Zeroes has some very good points made. HOWEVER. These girls are Roller Derby veterans. Wiping out even at full speed isn’t going to do a lot of harm to them. They know the tricks, they have the gear, and they’ve done it before. Yes, you can probably knock them down much, much easier than without the skates, but the crew is massively outnumbered, and someone moving on roller skates can hit HARD, especially if you’re distracted knocking down one or two others. Plus, good luck getting space. They’re going to be all over you. Tracking fast moving swarms of foes and anticipating individuals isn’t easy, trust me. Especially coordinated ones.
Throgor’s mass thrown around is their best tool here, unless Scapula actually opens up with that gun (bullets trump all in a melee) or Hypnausea brought some area of effect nastiness. Of course then they still have to deal with Knuckles Sam. Good luck guys!
…and, if all else fails, throw them some candy! Women still like candy, right?
Yes we still like candy, hehehehehehehe.
I’d submit that there’s never really a “good” time to attack Sam, but this is looking like a classic tactical blunder. Which is always funny. 🙂
Too true! A smart battle might have just been to blow up the place, but they had to make do without their resident ‘kablooie’ expert.
It was only a matter of time until Edgar screwed up again, after all. Scary thing this time is: this time Hypnausea was right instead!
Quick, Scap! Fire some rounds in the air! Fists still ain’t nothing against a bullet at long range. After that, get out of there real quick! You ain’t gonna listen are ya? Pshaw! Here’s hoping Bombastar followed them and finally manages to make a difference, even if it is accompanied by whining and generally being an annoying walking time bomb! Heh.
Hypnausea may have been right, but he sure as hell didn’t voice his opinion until it was far too late. Further proof that the guy knows nothing about timing (see last Thursday’s comic for further testament to that statement).
What will Scap do in this scenario? What SHOULD he do? What would YOU do? Quick, make the call!
Assuming I wasn’t already locked and loaded in Scap’s position…Right.
Step 1: Take away their advantage of overwhelming numbers. Toss a smoke bomb or flashbang on the ground. No matter how many of them there are, they can’t hit what they can’t see!
Step 2: Find a more favorable grounds for either fight or flight. Surrounded in an open area, I’m dead. If I can get to the door, get back into the corridor, or if I can’t, look for open vents over the lockers. A locker room should have them, for clearing out shower steam, and I’m guessing this building (like so many public works in San Francisco) is a relic from an older age when vents were still large enough to crawl in.
Step 3: Retreat if I can and try again another time, or if for some reason I can’t, set a trap. A stadium would be practically full of goodies to use in such a situation with enough brains and time. Weights, balanced locker deadfalls, trip wires, water-slickened floors and my personal favorite: boiler rooms with high pressure release valves.
Step 4: “Oh no, I forgot Hypnausea and Throgor!”
Awesome points overall, Treike! I especially liked how you point out in #2 that San Francisco has yet to update a lot of their buildings (sure, they can change the front of them to look more modern, but they’re still going to be filled with crusty old pipes from the 1900s!).
I also got a big laugh out of #4, especially if he’s saying it with sarcasm. Oopsie!
Hikeeba??? haha
If you think that’s the only MST3K reference in today’s comic, I’d suggest taking another look around!
That would be Mike (I’m pretty sure it’s Mike, going by the hair) and the Bots taking in the derby in the first panel? 🙂
Atta’ boy! Perhaps they’re watching a remake of “Racket Girls”?
Scapie’s failure to plan ahead and do some scouting has come to a surprise to him, as usual. Bolt for the door boys and try to escape, standing your ground is fatal. A T-rex would be nice for a getaway vehicle.
Remember, kids: do your homework, no matter how boring or tedious or pointless it may seem, because the next time you race out of the house and face down a gang of bullies you’ll wish you had…no, wait…hang on, my analogy ran away. Screw it. Do some math, Scapula!
A-freaking-men.
bwahahaassa!
goofy sneeking move ftw.
And they started of so promising… well, fare the well precise criminal planning, and good by brain matter.
There’s a traditional “sneaking around” theme music that plays in a lot of cartoons and old comedies; I don’t remember the name of the tune, but I’m sure you all heard it. Just imagine it in your head as you read that panel of them tiptoeing about.
This scheme’s not over yet!
…sigh. So after everything, Bone China, Scapula’s big speech to Throgor, that promising campaign start, all that build-up, Scapula is just going to get fucked over AGAIN, this time by a bunch of derby girls? Don’t get me wrong, I doubt even an entire army of highly-paid hitmen armed with rocket launchers could take on a force as mighty as derby girls, but it still seems a somewhat anticlimatic end. Oh well.
“Anticlimactic end”? Buddy, we haven’t even come close to the end yet! Wait and see what happens next before assuming they all met a grisly end at the roller skate-adorned feet of the enemy.
Of course, for future reference, Scap should look into rocket-launchers.
This is about to get all kinds of sexy.
Yikes!
Um, yeah, going to agree with Nefarious actually, hehehehehehe.
I hope that with all of Scap’s recent bluster and bravado, he’s prepared to fight his way outta this recent development. By the look of the last panel, however, I do think he was caught extremely unaware. Good luck, Scappy!
We shall see the answer to that tomorrow. Maybe’s he’s gotten better, or maybe he’s talking bigger. Either way, might as well aim for the best (even if you can only talk about it)!
So prior to reading this, I received an email mentioning this and asking if I could take this situation myself. And while everyone in the world can fall prey to the smallest factor or error, I would like to go on record as saying “This is exactly the kind of situation I train for.”
In a situation such as this, where targets are moving in swarms at high speed and seeking to blindside you, and instability is prevalent in all of your foes (roller skates are just a more controlled version of slippery ground like mud or ice), your best bet is to stand your ground and force them to move. While this seems like exactly what they planned, the difference is that you can, and will, force them to minimize their attacks if you remain stationary because large numbers of foes can’t attack all at once unless they can move past you as you move. If you’re still, they have to move in and out, and can’t afford to get in each others’ way, especially at these kinds of speed.
To most peoples’ surprise, I’m primarily a student of soft martial arts styles, IE those using the foes momentum and body mass to deflect them and redirect them. The faster a foe is moving the more harm you can cause them to do to themself. As opposed to just knocking them down and dispersing their force, an optimum situation here is to increase it while causing their instability to reach a critical point….. IE when they move, increase their speed while forcing them to go down in the worst possible way. Roller derbies are nasty as hell, but most of these girls aren’t typically being made to go down at full throttle with their necks coming in at a breaking angle and their legs three feet in the air. After the first few drop, the floor is cluttered and the rest have their movement limited.
Of course, good old irish pugilism would work wonders too. Stick and move, lighting jabs. When you control all the stable ground, that can keep them well back. Or of course, you can just put a bullet in enough of them.
My main question is: where’s the other lads? Hehehehehehehe.
Sorry, complex situation requires long answer. There’s a lot more but it’s mostly just fiddly stuff beyond that.
Ahh, the old “circle the wagons” strategy (or musk ox circle, if you enjoy zoology). It’s probably much easier when the attackers aren’t on horseback or shooting arrows at you, but not everything in life plays out like the old movies.
Tripping them up also sounds like it would work wonders, although it mostly reminds me of that scene in the Disney “Jungle Book” cartoon where the elephants all crash and tumble into one another (and if my derby friends knew I was comparing them to elephants, well…let’s see, I think I should study these tips on how to survive an attack like this!).
When all else fails, do what the Irish do: fight them! You’d be surprised how often that credo comes up.
Great advice all around, Lady Jenn!
I’m reminded of that scene in Boogie Nights when Roller Girl goes ape shit on that dude and kicks his teeth in with roller skates
Yikes! I haven’t seen that movie, but maybe now I should!…or, uh, shouldn’t.
Dada… Love the MST 3K! Nice goin’… and the giddy sneaking upping you captured so well… and now that I’ve polished off that box of Pop Tarts… I can say Pththththt!
“Polished off that box of Pop Tarts”…is that a codeword? Is there some secret Bridgett strike force going into action upon hearing that command?! Egad! Here they come!
…and there they go. They wanted coffee. Silly little Bridgetts!
ha… Dada… Grey noted that I am easily distracted by Pop Tarts in the toon comments previous… So codeword(s): polished off a box o’ Pop Tarts … means uh… wait… what were we talking about?
See? Even *talking* about Pop tarts around Brig is like waving a bag of shiny pennies at a pack rat. Not enough Ritalin in the world to keep her focused after that. 😀
Grey… it’s true. Sad, but true.
It would have made a nice battle strategy in medieval times: catapult a box of Pop-Tarts over an enemy’s wall, then let Brig tear through the front gate to get to them!