11/28/2013
Looks like these violent kids will be celebrating SHANKS-GIVING! They’re giving up peace talks COLD TURKEY! Things are looking mighty pil-GRIM!
…okay, that’s enough. Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers (and to the rest of you, just shake your heads silently at how much chow we’re shoveling down today), and be back here for a buffet of brutality on Sunday!
What if you threw a war and nobody came?
What if you planned a violent brawl to the death involving complete strangers for no apparent reason and no one went along with it?
The second one’s probably more relevant, especially if you’re stuck with the boomerang.
It’s even more awkward if you set up a huge refreshment table and no one comes to the party! Then you’re stuck eating cocktail weenies for a few days.
Honestly, that would make for a helluva story. All those kids decide “Fuck it!” and go after Scap and his mates, so THEY are the ones who have to fight their way out. Would be similar to “Boys against Girls”, but the idea just makes me laugh. Oh, since I came in late and could not say it while it was up-to-date: I think we cannot consider Scapula to be the biggest loser ever. You can say what you want about him, he still has a spine and the will to fight. Two qualitie not to be found in Bombastar. Yeah I’m late, but I wanted to make this clear.
The comment of Scapula not being a loser reminds me of something Charles Schulz once said when he heard someone describe Charlie Brown as a loser. Schulz said he never consider him that way, “because a real loser would have given up”.
Scapula may have lost numerous battles (I can think of how of a number it is by now), but he still tries. This would be a pretty boring comic if he didn’t!
Things are looking grave-Y for these BIRDS right about now as they begin beating the STUFFING-s out of each other.
Oy! What is this, ‘Thanksgiving with Forrest J Ackerman’?
I guess I’d really have to get over my introvertism quickly, huh?
I refuse to respond to that, seeing how I’m super-introverted myself and am currently fascinated with looking at my amazing toes!
Hehehehehehehehe. Someone always gets stuck with the boomerang. The weapon of a true HAM. Looks like there’s going to be some serious DISHing out of hurt!
Yeah, all the low hanging fruit is gone. Hokay, let’s see…… hand saw. Scary as hell, not effective for much unless you can hold your opponent still. At the end of the day it can lacerate you pretty good but the main advantage is psychological since they’re not meant to be weapons. Boomerang: useless unless you’re skilled with it, and then useful only for one throw. Probably better used as a club here, or broken and used as a pair of stabbing weapons. Way in the back right I see a Kris, a wiggly bladed knife. Sharp as hell and great at leaving ragged stab wounds but with a bad habit of snaring on meat and bone, they’re meant for ritual and ornament as much as a fight. Still, nasty, one of the more okay weapons. Taser: instant KO of any target with a single charge. Batteries these days are pretty good, it should last the fight, definitely something to consider though is the fact you need a pretty clean strike on open flesh. And the bat, a good blunt implement for keeping everyone clear of you. With a good rhythm you could keep a dead zone around you and you can knock away larger projectiles. Everything good about the wrench with less weight, a tad less durability, and easier handling.
Does anyone remember the Monty Python sketch about how to defend yourself against anyone armed with a piece of fresh fruit? Definitely good combat knowledge to have. Go look it up if you aren’t familiar with it.
Once again, great info on how to best handle random weapons. I think the Kris was meant to be brass-knuckles, but they’re all but lost in silhouette. If you want it to be a Kris, I say go for it. Hell, if you want true pain, pretend its 90’s flash-in-the-pan Kriss Kross. They’ll make you “jump-jump…in HURT.
Hey, a set of ‘knucks in a brawl in this close quarters is a pretty good starter too. Not easy to spot but easy to hurt with! Of course they’re entirely reliant on the user’s sill in unarmed combat, or brute strength. And as a matter of fact I regularly watch the ‘self defense against fruit’ skit hun! I rank it just behind the fish slapping dance, the dead parrot, and the cheese shop sketch in hilarity.
……. I don’t know that even Dadaman is messed up to bring something as horrible as Kriss Kross to a fight! GAH! You’re evil hun! EVIL!
Dadaman versus the 90’s…I like it!
baseballbat goodness!
Taaaaaaaaaake me out to da baaaaaaaaaaallllgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
Is that a boomerang? ha ha … I feel sorry for THAT guy!
Hope that Scap and the gang had a nice Turkey Day!
He may be lucky if there’s a bird he wants to hit and the wind is right. Otherwise…yeah, he’s screwed.
Scap may not have had turkey, but there’s bound to be lots of leftovers!