12/01/2013
The easiest known way to stoke a fire amongst people: insult a celebrity (go read any thread of YouTube comments for more proof).
The battle is on; now let’s see who survives!
The easiest known way to stoke a fire amongst people: insult a celebrity (go read any thread of YouTube comments for more proof).
The battle is on; now let’s see who survives!
that is the reason people shouldn’t disagree with me when i am holding anything that can cause blunt force trauma…or stabbing…stabbings are also bad
If anyone disagrees with Bob’s favorite choice of frozen yogurt topping THERE’S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY.
The fellow with the wrench shows promise.
Someday he just might get that assistant manager position!
Thats one way to get a room full of goths to fight.
That, or say, “We’re taking away your normal clothes and making you wear polo shirts and khakis.”
Can’t fight it… urge to big …. have to say it… . . .please forgive me. . .
Spoon! Andagainandagainandagain….!!
So it’s out. Puh, I do feel better now. Sorry for that.
Bill the punk is holding a spoon and it brings up memories of The Tick?
What the hey, works for me! SPOOOOOOON!
Yeah! Manson sucks and so does Justin Bieber, he really sucks and he’s gay too, like really, really gay and … Hey! Who are you people? Yeah, he sucks and … Ow! Stop that! Ouch! OOWWW!
That’s probably the first time someone has ever been beaten up by the voices in their head!
But seriously, there was once a time when mocking the Biebz could mean death by fangirl rage. MAD magazine received numerous death threats by teen girls (read that again: death threats by teen girls!) when they dared to mock the prepubescent doof several years ago.
Nowadays I think it’s pretty obvious that he deserves mocking..hell, it’s even too easy to do it!
“If there are more than X people in this room by dawn, you’ll all be shot”
THAT is how you inspire a steel cage death fight. Anyone remember those claymation celebrity death fights?
Celebrity Death Match…it was too good to last. Even before they were cancelled (twice) it was obvious they had run out of ideas, but that first season or two was pure clay gold.
Now all that remains is to sit back and wait for Lady Jenn’s color commentary before going to the play-by-play…
John Madden will probably yell something, resulting in a Jenn/Madden fight to the death. Hell, it would probably be a more intense fight than the one in the comic!
I could take ‘im…… he’s gotten outta shape doing commentary!
I’m not armed, but I hear one bad word about Professor Elemental and you will get the bony elbow from Hell. HELL, I tell you!
Not familiar with this Professor, but I’ll think twice before launching my next anti-Elemental tirade!
That was good as hell! I know no simpler way to say it. I don’t what to expect in this story arc.
GOOD AS HELL needs to be on a T-shirt somewhere. Go ahead and throw one in the Addanac store, George!
Good as hell…that doesn’t sound so good when you think about it. What the hell good is hell?
Young people and celebrities. I could see this happening. So let’s see what else we got in here today……
The kitchen knife from before, well, it’s a knife. Good at slicing and deadly in a stab, scary to most people. Not a lot more to say about it. Of note there also appears to be a blackened steel tanto-tipped knife in there (panel 3 to the right and last panel) which is better at puncturing things….. and considering how many of these kids are wearing leather coats, knives might not be ideal. Leather and thick canvas can often reduce a cut to very little in damage since they’re not easy to slice through. The Spoon is, as we all know, an artifact and symbol of overwhelming power, but none of these cretins would know how to use it so let’s not say anything else. And of course screaming angry murderous guy seems to have a good old hunk of lead pipe…… like a bat but lighter, usually shorter, and harder to break!
So, let’s see…… if I had to take bets, the big fit dude with the wrench would be candidate number one for making it. He’s in shape, he’s freaking big, and he has a weapon that works well with those, PLUS he looks like a pretty violent guy who likes the idea of busting heads. No armor or anything but he looks plenty tough, and he might be experienced. Plus he’s got no hair, loose clothes, or piercings to grab.
The guy with the bat might make it just on virtue of having a lot of reach, but he’s point blank with these guys and might go down immediately. If he gets some room though….. Unfortunately long hair = bad in a fight.
Nazz is small, got a shiv, and probably vicious as hell (many small people with big mouths are like badgers when cornered, since it keeps people from picking on them). Plus she’s got a jacket for a little protection. Downside: earrings, but hopefully nobody rips those loose.
Harkin might get plot armor. Or he might die horribly. I hope for 2 but we didn’t really see what he got weapon wise. If he won the jackpot and got a revolver or something, yeah. On the other hand, Dad might have shown him a few moves.
The chick with the stun gun is a strong contender because she’s small, and has arguably the most powerful weapon here……. that sucker WILL take you down for a long time. Downside: glasses, but at melee range most people can manage without them. Also many people are wearing plenty of clothes, so skin contact might be tricky. Still, I’d be steering clear of her.
Most of the heftier guys have good odds, just by virtue of throwing weight around and hitting harder. Smaller people would be better served hiding or getting at a range. Anyone wearing combat boots or steel toes (not unlikely here) has an edge, as does anyone with a heavy jacket or multiple layers of clothes, especially leather. Hand to hand combat experience or training, while rare, can come up unexpectedly, and one or two of them might sport their own weapons already….. never underestimate the Mag-light in a brawl, or a sharp jack knife.
In a scenario like this, keep at reach if possible, take your opponent down, and get your back to something like a wall or someone you can trust. NEVER LET ANYONE BEHIND YOU. If you don’t have experience with multiple enemies, you will get ruined by that. Go for fast take downs like knee shots or head shots where possible and don’t get fancy…… get people away from you and keep a dead zone as wide as you can manage. Make yourself look as intimidating as possible and let people go for easier prey. If possible stay to the edges or even out of it, in cover if possible. Don’t hesitate to run out of reach. Defense is key….. aggression leads to takedowns, but in a mess like this you’re open and will get sideswiped. If people think you’re hard, they’ll go for softer prey. Be very alert for thrown objects or foes with reach and evade. If you have someone’s back, keep them safe and alerted to threats. The rule to survive is to keep people from getting near you…. make it hard, keep them out of your blind spots, and intimidate them or encourage them to go after other targets. Keep an eye on any dubious partners you form but if you’re good friends then try to focus on keeping yourselves alive. If you get hit, go down and stay there if there’s still lots of foes against each other, but if you’re being focussed on by several targets do not fall under any circumstances…… you will not recover, likely ever, if they start laying the boots to you. In emotionally charged violence you are not facing people, you’re staring down feral animals who will not hesitate to beat you until you’re done for good. On that note, do not loose your cool and try not to give in to animal instincts….. they will likely force you to go aggressive, and in a mess like that this just leaves you blind and open. If things go against you, you have nothing to lose, but until you’re getting ganged up on and injured a cool head is best.
Evade, blockade, escape. It would be different for, say, me in this situation, but even so these are rules I have to keep in mind. Rule one is always keep them from your back. Humans are essentially cowards and try to only strike against unresisting foes. Also don’t feel stuck to whatever you start with. There’s a pile of broken lumber off to the side, don’t hesitate to go grab a 2×4 and go wild with a few haymakers, or grab a better weapon (whatever is most comfortable for you to use or intimidates the foe most).
Of course, the best advice? Don’t go to mystery meetings in warehouses at night on the suggestion of your psychotic friends.
Wow. That was awful long winded of me. Sorry!
Hey, long-winded responses just means someone cares enough about this comic to take the time out of their day to leave some feedback!
Not much more I can add to your awesome write-up, except that these kids would probably never learn the lesson about keeping their cool and thinking things through. We’ll just have to wait and see what the make of this ordeal (or if they make each other into puree!).
The person with the best hopes of surviving is the one who doesn’t challenge Lady Jenn!
…. or whoever brings a gun, which admittedly is usually me.
Anyone besides me see this and think of the story from greek mythology where Jason yokes the two fire-breathing bulls to plow a field, sow dragon’s teeth into the field, then has to kill the soldiers that rise up from the planted teeth … and does so by throwing a rock amongst them and they end up fighting each other?
No?
Well, &@#%.
I was more thinking of sports riots.
An interesting variation on that tale was the Ray Harryhausen magnum opus Jason and the Argonauts, which reduces the soldiers to skeletons (‘reduce’ as in the body mass, not their danger levels) and has an awesome sword fight instead of a rock toss and a legion of idiots beating each other up.
…which, oddly enough, probably sounds a bit more like today’s comic!
I’m putting my money on Spoon Guy.
SPOOOOON!
I like your people … the newly penned fighters… are they people you have caricatured? people you know? one of them looks vaguely like you…. am I right?
Kick @** you all!
They’re kinda/sorta/maybe based on people I know from here and there (other artists, other punks, other…whoever). I could go tagging them all on Facebook, but I’m not entirely sure they’d appreciate the cameos (and they might know where I live).
I guess some people just can’t handle the truth!