GIANT ATTACK MONSTERS MEGA-BATTLE! pg17
Whoa! What do the Pleasureliens have in mind? And who can say what they find ‘pleasurable’…maybe they come from the Hellraiser school of pleasure, or maybe they just enjoy playing video games until 3 am?
The Pleasureliens’ designs are somewhat based on a film called Zeta One…or maybe I just like girls with the “Cleopatra” hairdo (such as Dr. Jeraukov and, to a messier degree, Bone China). There’s also a good dose of Barbarella cheese on that sandwich…cheesy, cheesecakey sandwich.
Tune in next week, not just for Pleasurelien pleasure but also for big news for Kickstarter backers!
Of course…. It’s a weiner dog.
The most vicious beast the Earth has to offer.
They’re going to spend hours petting him and telling him he’s a ‘good boy’.
I definitely detected the Barbarella theme in here. In my experience anyone using the word ‘pleasure’ too much does not understand what that word means!
It’s like all those computer manuals that brag that their tech is “robust”. That’s not the proper usage, ya dinks! Go to hell and stay in hell!
It’s like a person doing anatomically correct art in lifelike colors claiming to be a cartoonist….. insulting the word, I tell ya!
The thing about teleportation, inter-dimensional or just through space, on the surface of a celestial body such as the Earth is how crazy hard it must be to come out the other side in tact. They have to know the direction and speed our galaxy is going and match that speed vector, and then know the path our star is traveling around the galaxy and then factor in that speed vector, and then the orbit of our planet around our star and factor in that speed vector, and then they need to know if our planet is tidally locked or spinning, and how fast its spinning and factor in that speed vector, and then they need to know if their portal will place them on the other side with the planet’s gravity well below them, and then they need to know just where the surface is so they don’t portal into either solid rock or hundreds of meters in the air.
On top of all that, you would need to have all that same information on you and where you are standing before you teleport so you can make proper adjustments.
Just imagine what would happen if you made a math error and subtracted where you should have added between the directions and speeds of two worlds, and instead of teleporting a Yorkshire terrier from one place to the other while keeping it apparently at rest to the observers at either end you catapulted it at 1/4 light speed through the atmosphere of the destination world.
Portalling a ship through deep space and then cruising in closer afterwards would be way easier to navigate.
Phew…that’s a lot to think about! All of my fears on teleportation came from The Fly…and all of my dreams of teleportation came from Nightcrawler (although I’m of mixed opinions of leaving behind a brimstone fart whenever I bamf around).
This is the reason why hardcore science fiction just isn’t for me; thinking about the logic of things like teleportation and especially time travel just makes my head sting. I suppose you can do some really funny things if you know the rules of sci-fi (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Red Dwarf come to mind), but I prefer for now to keep it simple.
…so, as my fellow Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans will sing with me, “Just repeat to yourself it’s just a show, I should really just relax!”.
….. For Mystery Science Theater……. 3000!
Nightcrawler’s teleportation power is pretty safe to use as his jumps are so short range, 2 or 3 miles on Earth’s surface is still within visual range not accounting for obstructing terrain. He wouldn’t have to worry about anything but where the surface of his destination is and which direction he wants to face when he arrives.
The thing that I always fretted over in regards to teleportation is the Star Trek method of tearing apart the subject to little atoms and launching them up to several miles away to be reassembled. Shouldn’t that hurt? Doesn’t it kill the subject and then recreate their likeness using the dead matter violently torn from a living being? Wouldn’t the computational processing power and memory storage requirements dwarf anything needed for most other processes since the system has to catalog every atom’s position in a body so they can be put back together?
Its not instantaneous either, so how is brain function and heart beat maintained while they are being torn apart or during reassembly? And if heart beat is somehow maintained, wouldn’t blood pressure alone briefly cause a huge mess as veins and skin are being atomized? Maybe that’s why the beaming visual graphic they use is a cloud of sparkly light all around the subject… that’s actually the machine capturing and atomizing the blood spray for teleportation?
And since they cataloged the position of every atom in your body prior to using tractor beams to dissolve your atomic structure, why the hell can’t the transport officer produce clones of you out of additional raw material? That would have been like the first thing to do with Commander Data. Why try to figure out how he is built and how he works? They teleport the guy on a regular basis, he has a literal save file in the transporter room. Just Xerox an additional Data for every Star Fleet Vessel once someone talks him into consenting to the duplication.
Yea, all in all I’d have to say I also like the simplicity of Nightcrawler’s method.
I never considered that about Star Trek…do they actually disintegrate a person (in effect killing them) and then create a perfect copy in a different location? Is there some form of reincarnation or are they basically cloning a person again and again in different places? If you believe in souls will there just be dozens, if not hundreds, of Enterprise crew copies filling up Heaven or Hell?
…yeeeeeah, let’s just stick with Nightcrawler. He’s cool.
Yes. Disintegration of the subjects and reassembly of them over the time span of 2 to 3 seconds is exactly how they work. There is some conflicting accounts on if the teleporters in Star Trek break the subjects down to atoms or break them down all the way to pure energy. Both have been claimed in the various canon series. I’d speculate that in the original series since they do not yet have the tech to convert energy to matter but by the Next Generation series they all get their meals from replicators that use raw energy to create food and drink, that the early teleporters broke things and people down to atoms and the more advanced ones disintegrated things into pure energy. Either way that minor detail hardly matters to the subject. In every series there are characters that are either deathly afraid to use them or outright refuse to use the things and demand to use shuttles to get around.
This is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night. I’ve heard this argument about going to sleep, even! Once you lose consciousness is it you who wakes up? Or is it someone else with all your memories?
Now I know why President Skroob hates the teleporters (and not just because his ass is so big). “Forget it, no more beaming!”
Ever stumbled upon a manual stating the following at the end : “And now all is set up and shall work without further ado” ?
That’s usually from that point on nothing works as intended.
Pretty much sums up every Ikea manual I’ve ever had to deal with (and those are told through comics!).