03/13/2014
Those mummies are going to need a lot of bandages…if they survive. As for the rest of the Halloween Gang (and their wicked leader), we’ll see how well they fare against the raging juggernaut that is Knuckle Sam this Sunday!
Those mummies are going to need a lot of bandages…if they survive. As for the rest of the Halloween Gang (and their wicked leader), we’ll see how well they fare against the raging juggernaut that is Knuckle Sam this Sunday!
My advice here? Go limp and try not to lose consciousness. Limpness deflects a lot of damage, and passing out can kill you if you’ve recently experienced severe trauma. There’s really no survival strategy here beyond ‘get away from the source of death’! If that’s impossible, praying is not amiss. I mean, it can’t hurt and I personally find it helps a lot, since I’m catholic.
The best way to stop a Catholic on the rampage is to heave lots and lots of guilt upon them. You could debate whether or not Catholic guilt is worse than Jewish guilt, but you’ll just feel guilty afterwards.
…then go limp, because there’s now clear way out of that debacle!
Ugh. Religious guilt in general sucks, and believe me I know. The best way to cope with it (besides being blind stinking stone drunk) is to realize we’re all flawed and that’s fine. Now, guilt-one-upmanship is just plain weird…. but happens!
Of course one of the major cures for guilt is rage. As we can see with Sam, who lost Jemini once already, going on the warpath.
We shall see how much, or how little, guilt and rage Sam carries in her ample figure (and we shall see how many inferior figures are shattered to bits in the process)!
What’s the advice on someone squizeeing your head like a tomato… or a more like a cherry in this case?
Just hope you have an empty mind or there’s going to be a mess.
My best advice? Bite them. If that’s not possible, dig your nails into the veins and arteries just below the hinge of the wrist and rip for all you’re worth. If you’re not in too much pain to think straight, try to use your legs to kick off from them, possibly toppling them or surprising them into letting go of you.
Well Scapula only has to lie low for a few years because Knuckle Sam clearly has some form of gigantism and will have a drastically reduced lifespan.
And yet, somehow, Arnold Schwarzenegger just keeps on living…
Yeah, but he’s a robot from the future.
I thought he was the man who got pregnant…or the ‘action hero’ who comes out of a movie?
Now would be the funniest time to croak out that “Mummies Curse” line you spent all night thinking of to try and prove to your weirdo boss that you go Above and Beyond.
Also the worst time to croak out that Mummies Curse line because you’re being manhandled by an enraged lesbian gorilla with fist larger than your body.
I’m all for being a MAN and going down in a blaze of glory. But fists larger than your body? There’s no glory there. Only punching.
“Lesbian Gorilla” would be a pretty neat name for a garage band. Hell, I’d probably go see their show.
As for what the ‘Mummy Zombies’ have in the curse department…hmmm…does ‘bleeding all over the enemy’s shoes’ sound very curse-like?
You kidding? Without baking soda and some patience bloodstains are the WORST curse.
Tut, tut, my dear lady, careful with the henchmen. 🙂
They break so easily!
Good thing they can just pick some bandages off the ground
…along with their limbs.