Is it weird I’m kinda hoping Bombastar made it out, somehow? I mean, I know he’s dead, but his life seemed to suck roughly around the same amount as Scap’s, and it seems awful that the only successful thing he ever did was kill of his entire family and a bunch of roller-derby women, along with the top scientist/owner of a now defunct cloning facility.
As long as he has some readers who mourn his passing (or his rotten life), then perhaps he did accomplish something. Perhaps we can do some kind of mock funeral for him in the comments section; does anyone want to write up a eulogy?
In any case, thanks for commenting, and for caring about the hard-luck villains!
We are gathered here today to mark the passage of Douglas Naware, also known as Bombastar. Douglas was a very unfortunate man, with an insane aunt and an abusive sister. He had many health problems, and was a generally sad and depressed man. With a helmet full of explosives, he seems to have finally achieved what he desired to do…… become a super villain, a contributing member of the Sinister Monster Doom Legion, quite probably kill his family and their allies, cause massive amounts of property damage, and give life a rather stellar explosive ‘Fuck Off!’ on his way out. He will be mourned, but likely not missed by many, though his lunatic rage did manage some final appealing to the ‘fourth wall’ gods. He will be remembered for his blue, his bucket head, his despair and his astonishingly wonderful teeth.
I will…I will remember Bombastar for his beautiful smooth shiny and round ass. Yes, he was a beanpole, but his butt was something to be envied by all who viewed it. Firm, small, but nicely bubbly, like a Gala apple. It was prettier than his sister’s.
Must have been a sturdy attic floor if the rest of the boys survived that! If it was old, dry wood it basically wold have just shredded them by acting as shrapnel. Incidentally, severe injury with wood is much more dangerous than metal based injuries. Wood is extraordinarily prone to splintering and the slivers can burrow through flesh at an alarming rate, not to mention as they rot they carry all manner of nasty bacteria. Should you survive an explosion like this, or be in any encounter where jagged wood is involved, be sure to have all of your injuries carefully looked over and properly sterilized once as much of the foreign matter is out as possible! I am NOT kidding here, folks, rotting wood injuries can lead to some DAMN NASTY infections. That is obviously on top of any other injuries you receive by the way….. I mean, explosions tend to cause all sorts of trauma you might need to deal with immediately. Common sense and all.
Some good 40 (ish) proof hooch and a long night of picking slivers out of my leg after screwing around with dynamite (trying to remove a tree stump…. too much dynamite) taught me this. Pa wound up with a pretty wild infection in his arm where he missed a few shards. Man, we had some fun bonding experiences!
Having wood splinters in you brings about another hazard: beavers can SMELL the wood inside of you, and will claw, bite, and gore their way through your tender flesh to get at the botanical treats they so richly crave. Remember folks: sometimes a little beaver really isn’t such a good thing afterall.
Keep in mind that I’m making all of this up (although I do recall an article about a beaver in Europe who bit a man through a major leg artery, causing him to bleed to death…and that story’s real).
Pain can bring family members closer together, unless if you come from an extremely oversensitive and irritable family (like mine); in which case it’s best to avoid the more dramatic/violent members who wouldn’t mind inflicting their pain on anyone within earshot or arm’s reach.
Is it weird I’m kinda hoping Bombastar made it out, somehow? I mean, I know he’s dead, but his life seemed to suck roughly around the same amount as Scap’s, and it seems awful that the only successful thing he ever did was kill of his entire family and a bunch of roller-derby women, along with the top scientist/owner of a now defunct cloning facility.
As long as he has some readers who mourn his passing (or his rotten life), then perhaps he did accomplish something. Perhaps we can do some kind of mock funeral for him in the comments section; does anyone want to write up a eulogy?
In any case, thanks for commenting, and for caring about the hard-luck villains!
We are gathered here today to mark the passage of Douglas Naware, also known as Bombastar. Douglas was a very unfortunate man, with an insane aunt and an abusive sister. He had many health problems, and was a generally sad and depressed man. With a helmet full of explosives, he seems to have finally achieved what he desired to do…… become a super villain, a contributing member of the Sinister Monster Doom Legion, quite probably kill his family and their allies, cause massive amounts of property damage, and give life a rather stellar explosive ‘Fuck Off!’ on his way out. He will be mourned, but likely not missed by many, though his lunatic rage did manage some final appealing to the ‘fourth wall’ gods. He will be remembered for his blue, his bucket head, his despair and his astonishingly wonderful teeth.
Would anyone else like to say a few words?
…(sniff)….guh…I’m sorry, I need a minute alone…(sob)…
I will…I will remember Bombastar for his beautiful smooth shiny and round ass. Yes, he was a beanpole, but his butt was something to be envied by all who viewed it. Firm, small, but nicely bubbly, like a Gala apple. It was prettier than his sister’s.
Bombastar, you will be truly kinda missed.
WHOA! Well, I guess the old saying is true: there’s beauty in everything.
It’s also good to know that all those years he spent body-waxing were worth it for that one moment of exposure!
Here lies Bombaster, two smoking boots and a cloud of bloody vapor. In life, he was a loser. In death, he was… also a loser. Oh Well. Amen.
What music should we close out on; “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan or “One More Day” by Sinead O’Connor?
At least he fought back once in his entire life…
Damned right! Most folks leave this world without even doing that.
Must have been a sturdy attic floor if the rest of the boys survived that! If it was old, dry wood it basically wold have just shredded them by acting as shrapnel. Incidentally, severe injury with wood is much more dangerous than metal based injuries. Wood is extraordinarily prone to splintering and the slivers can burrow through flesh at an alarming rate, not to mention as they rot they carry all manner of nasty bacteria. Should you survive an explosion like this, or be in any encounter where jagged wood is involved, be sure to have all of your injuries carefully looked over and properly sterilized once as much of the foreign matter is out as possible! I am NOT kidding here, folks, rotting wood injuries can lead to some DAMN NASTY infections. That is obviously on top of any other injuries you receive by the way….. I mean, explosions tend to cause all sorts of trauma you might need to deal with immediately. Common sense and all.
Some good 40 (ish) proof hooch and a long night of picking slivers out of my leg after screwing around with dynamite (trying to remove a tree stump…. too much dynamite) taught me this. Pa wound up with a pretty wild infection in his arm where he missed a few shards. Man, we had some fun bonding experiences!
Having wood splinters in you brings about another hazard: beavers can SMELL the wood inside of you, and will claw, bite, and gore their way through your tender flesh to get at the botanical treats they so richly crave. Remember folks: sometimes a little beaver really isn’t such a good thing afterall.
Keep in mind that I’m making all of this up (although I do recall an article about a beaver in Europe who bit a man through a major leg artery, causing him to bleed to death…and that story’s real).
Pain can bring family members closer together, unless if you come from an extremely oversensitive and irritable family (like mine); in which case it’s best to avoid the more dramatic/violent members who wouldn’t mind inflicting their pain on anyone within earshot or arm’s reach.
A-freaking-men.
Whew! There he is! Gosh… after your words of “Pthhht” yesterday… I was… concerne… no I wasn’t … he’s too good a character to polish off. Smiles.
Spaceballs quote time: “Foooooooled yooooou!”
Uh-oh! Whoever that is had better be a comrade.
…or not be someone trying to kill Scap!
Boy, that party was the bomb!
But at least they had a blast!