SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLES FEATURE pt.4
Knuckle Sam: if there was ever a misused character in this series, it’s her (then again, Babirus has never really gotten his due respect either…but that’s a story for another time). She’s only appeared in two stories (okay, three, but that Shakespeare one doesn’t count in continuity), and was never really that well defined. I think her only real moment came from her lament over missing her father, but it was so brief and so long ago that I doubt anyone even remembers it (or cares…ya heartless grumps!).
While the lion’s share of sympathy in this series has gone to whiny little Scapula, I do enjoy exploring the other characters’ feelings and weaknesses, and I think Sam, no matter how much she presents herself as a badass, still has a lot of heart. More to come on the big lug.
I was kinda feeling sorry for her. Then I got to panel 6 & she scared all the sympathy outta me & into Scap’s direction. Then the last panel softened my heart again towards her.
P.S. I love the nervous pathetic looks on Scapula.
What can I say, skull-kicking and teeth bashing certainly doesn’t leave a lot of time for romance. For true heartfelt love you’re looking more at low impact events like shoulder dislocations and sharply twisting knees in odd angles.
As a person far less interested in the emotional than the physical component of love, I’m more of a whips and needles gal myself. Although there is a certain undeniable erotic element to the sound of cracking bone.
I’ve been waiting for Knuckle Sam to show up again hehehehehehehe. I take particular interest in any character I think could, if real, actually give me a fair run for my money in a street brawl.
PS, Flippy = merchandising gold, just a suggestion. *Hugs Mr. Bear.*
I never envisioned her having such a girly room. I like her though and want to see more of her.
@TonyMcGurk the First I’ve found that the most sympathetic characters in fiction aren’t always the “poor innocent baby” types, but the ones that are severely flawed. Sam may have sincere wishes about wanting to be loved, but geez, she better get her anger issues checked first (then again, some people love being with that kind of partner…those people are ALSO flawed).
@TonyMcGurk the Second …and Scapula is yet aanother flawed character. He’s a weenie.
@LadyJenn The more I hear about my reader’s personal lives the more I begin to feel that my fictional world is pretty tame.
Yes, more often than not pain and love go together, whether it’s neurotically lamenting over someone who dumped you or getting your rocks off while being smacked around (this is all just postulation, folks…my personal life is kept away from these comments!).
But you can always keep your passions and still maintain a good relationship. If cracking bones gets you all hot, why not try chiropractic exercises? Or just go out and beat up people…I can’t make your decisions for you!
I would market Flippy, but he’s another flawed character (he likes heroin too much).
@George Contrast is the meaning of life, as some crazy old man once told me (then he slammed me on the head and bounced around making Daffy Duck noises).
…and yes, Georgie Boy, there will always be big and tough women here to entertain you.
…3…2…1… aaanndd scap is back to his old self again 🙂
i kind of wonder how he ever got a foothold in the underworld
P.S. the only perfect person is a imperfect person 🙂
why els would they put anorexia on the front page of evry magazine?
She looks almost cute when she is happy. Not that I want her or anything.
You know, Scap had better have a wrist corsage for Knuckles, or she’s going to whip him with his own spinal cord.
@BarbaricBob the First Scap’s place in the underworld is about the same as his place in high school: the geeky little loser who’s trying to fit in. The only difference is the criminal underworld has LESS guns than the average public high school!
@BarbaricBob the Second There’s a difference between being imperfect and being a sucker. We’re all imperfect. The people who buy those magazines, hoping to look like the silicon skeletons on the cover, are suckers.
@Bearman Rrrrrrright…..surrrrre….offfff cccccooooouuuurrrrrsssseeee….. wwwhhhyyyyy aaaammmmm IIIIII tttttyyyyyppppiiinnngggg tttthhhhiiissss wwwwwaaaaayyyyyyyyyy???????……
@Patricia When a loser comes along, you must whip him! Into shape!
Sorry…I hate that song, but had to make a joke of some sort.
Hahaha…
I guess every date isn’t all your fingers are cracked up (or off) to be!
🙂
@SpilledInky Could be worse; imagine putting a wedding ring on your spouse-to-be and breaking that gentle digit. Awwwwkwaaaarrrd.
scap should beef up….. haha who am i kidding chicken bones would be lucky if he gained 1gram of muscle 😛 btw loved the LOB thing you did 😛
I read through your post to me for a long time till I noticed you really weren’t making a point..haha
@BarbaricBob Well, there’s always steroids, but Scap’s balls are already shrunken enough (that probably wins the TMI Award for the year).
By “LOB” I assume you mean “Legend of Bill”, in which case, thank you kindly. Of course, LOB could also mean “Life of Brian”, “Lesbians on Boats” or “Look Out! Bears!”…in which case, I’m stumped.
@Bearman Do I ever have a point? Furthermore, what’s the deal with gas prices these days? Muffins could be better. And for that matter, the three-toed sloth. Think about it.
I’ve often thought that Three-toed-sloth week could give shark week a run for it’s money… but that’s neither here nor there… (or anywhere!)
I knew that flippy would come through in the end… must be the wizard hat!
She’s a dainty little ball-buster that Sam! Built Ford tough, but with a delicate soul.
@JerryBenedict Imagine a couch potato relaxing to TV shows about sloths…that’s oddly appropriate.
Beware Flippy’s magical spells! He can summon all the demon sloths he wants.
@MarkStokes Summed up like a poet, good sir!
i find sloths strangly relaxing… ever watched a full show on those buggers? i swear they have a lazyness vision or something.
i wonder what kind of under apreciated job scap would have if he wasn’t a criminal,
i myself see him as a door to door salesman… who gets beat up regulary by girlscouts while never selling anything
Your world is very amusing to me because I’ve lived something of a parallel at times. Yeah, I had a lot to do with criminals. And you know what? Your comic reminds me of that to a rather extraordinary degree. Sometimes I even miss the life a bit, but I’m smarter than to get involved anymore.
That having been said, it does breathe life into the comic and I can almost hear the burbling whimpers of a loser asking for backup again!
As for Flippy, well, Ali Bear knows a few good rehab centers! Hehehehehehehe
@BarbaricBob I once did a short animation about a sloth, which I will someday refine and post on-line. For here and now just take it as read that I like the little critters (and they’re not-so-little extinct cousins).
Scap outside of villainy? Who can say? Working the deep-frier at Mickey D’s, cleaning out toilets, turning tricks on 53rd & 3rd? The possibilities are endless when you’re a loser!
@LadyJenn That’s it, I’m hiring this person to beat up anyone else who trashes SCAPULA. If that isn’t worth a few bucks I don’t know what is!
I don’t think Flippy quite measures up to Hobbes in terms of useful stuffed counterparts, but he might have a chance against them Raggedy Ann and Andy punks.
yeah the world lost a treasure when the giant sloth died out :[
glad raptors died though… the over use of the words “Clever girl” would drive me insane in seconds
Awesome. I love how lonely she complains about every night is the same thing with violently hurting people but she still comes home alone. Lots of hilarious dialogue.
Awww~~ 😉 I like the contrast between her tough attitude and the room decoration. Nice! Final panel is also a BRAVO! 🙂
Hey, hurting people for money certainly was the most satisfying job I ever had! Bouncing at Tupper”s for example was great. I even got an old timer there to show me how to use a pool cue to invert someone’s elbow with one smooth motion. Plenty of practice models (trust me, they deserved it….. Tupper’s was the lowest of the low kind of bar. He got the best kind of insurance he could, torched it a year later, and ended up with all of about a grand in his pocket). You know what they say: as long as two people are alive, someone is going to want someone else to suffer, and the other one likely deserves it. And I like ya hun. I’d give you a discount.
Oddly I like Scapula too…… and for the chance to twist Hypnausea into a pretzel I’d likely give him a half off!
@BarbaricBob …or the overuse of shouting,”SHOOT ‘ER! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOT ‘ERRRRRRR!!!”
@FrankMHansen Thanks, man! Yeah, the characters in this comic sure have their problems cut out for them. Maybe she could try going out one night and NOT killing someone?
@alecho Domo alligator! Just imagine that hug she’s giving is for YOU!
@LadyJenn I’ve known a few bouncers and they always have the most interesting stories. Yeah, they’re all violent, but surprisingly most of them are loaded with comedy. A business associate I met at a convention, who is also a bouncer, told me about having to subdue a 300-lb giant of a man who was drunk off his ass…and as soon as he was taken down he promptly took a dump in his pants. Now that…that’s just…well, that’s just hilarious.
I’m sure there are story ideas I could do with Sam or Rizz, but that’s something for another time.
As for Hypnausea, I think he learned his lesson about sadomasochism in the ‘SICKO SIX’ storyline.
My best story has to be Old Spaz. This guy was a sixties case something fierce and a cokehead to boot. He shook more that a jackhammer operator on full bore with a caffeine buzz. He got Tupper mad one day and so he was let to Gene to bounce. Gene is a beanpole but he’s so angry it’s hilarious. What Gene didn’t know (or likely care) was that the side entrance opened inwards, not outwards. So he basically running-slammed Spaz THROUGH the door (it was a cheap one but he went through it face first).
All Spaz did was turn around and say “Funny, I thought that door swung outwards, too!” Before falling over and doing the bacon for about three minutes, then getting up and walking off with blood gushing from his nose. It was so surreal I don’t think anyone spoke until he was gone. Then we all started laughing fit to kill ourselves!
And Gene had to pony up for the door to boot.
On the Hypnausea front, I’d just enjoy creatively rearranging his anatomy. He strikes me as a shrieker and they make the funniest sounds when you add 90 degree angles to otherwise unbent body parts!
@LadyJenn Well, I can’t top that. All in favor of getting Lady Jenn her own webcomic? I can’t beat these stories!
LadyJenn if you have a video of that moment and post it here i think we would all agree that you are the (unofficial) ruler of the comments 🙂
worst cartoony moment in my life was when i dropped my bike keys from my wallet (kept them there not to lose them) straight into a hole in the lid of a manhole…. i had to walk 12 km with a locked bike around my neck 🙁
Sadly, Tupper didn’t want any kind of recorders around his place. Too many drug dealers used it as a hidey hole. Come to think of it, if he had half a spine and health standards his place might have been like Rizz’s.
I think Scapula in the Sticks was probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, so there, you’ve already topped me hun!
I could never do a comic hun….. no artistic talent, no writing ability. Just lots and lots of stories from the wrong side of life. Although, if my pocket philosopher ever gets his started, he’s already asked for a few stories of mine to share! (His worst enemy just now being that his artist is lazy AND has a full time job).
As for dear Bob, while I can’t grant your wish to see old Spaz, I can certainly laugh at your tragedy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Actually, I’m just a big enough jerk to laugh if I ever see something like that too. Thanks for the grins, hun!
I’ve just been flicking through your comic – very amusing! Your style took a little bit of getting used to, but it has gotten more polished and it’s more genuine comic book style as compared to really polished, computerised webcomics. That is the most backhand comment ever, but I mean it. It’s refreshing in style and very well put together. Kudos!
If we’re talking hilarious criminal stories, though, my two cents are the time I was walking home at 3 a.m after a night out. Me and a rather nasty, criminal, cowardly friend (who Scapula somewhat reminds me of) had caught the last metro home and then gotten a little lost being more than a bit drunk and stupid. This was his hometown (Moscow), not mine, so I’m blameless. We got accosted my this curb-crawler who first tried to sell us any number of drugs and off-brand moonshine vodka, and then seemed to think I was a … lady of negotiable affection. Being very drunk, we started telling him all manner of horrible, painful things we’d do to him… and then he pulled over and I realised my buddy had vanished. Umm… ultimately, running down a hill in the middle of the Muscovite winter, where it’s -20, there’s a lot of snow and the ice is at least an inch thick and so ‘black ice-ish’ under those crappy street lights until you don’t see it too late (Much like some parts of the US, I imagine) in stupid heels and a skirt not designed for jogging… is not fun. According to my friend, who started running after us and eventually caught up with the unpleasant gentlemen and kicked him in the kidneys, I basically skidded down that hill, landed on my arse several times and kept going. I guess alcohol and horrible mental images of what the guy chasing me might do outweighed the fear of falling on my arse.
It sounds awful but it was hilarious in retrospect. Whenever we catch up, it’s always “Remember that time that guy chased you down that sheer ice-face hill? You could barely stand up, how the hell did you outrun a psychotic drug dealer while staggering on ice in stilettos? It was like your butt was on fire!”
Ah, the stupidity of youth 🙂 Anyway, nice comic. Look forward to more!
Also, I mean ‘amusing’ in the sense of funny and entertaining. I’m double checking, because I hate the idea of sounding snide or backhand or something!
@BarbaricBob Boy, have I got ridiculous stories. Reminds me of the time I took my bus pass out of my pocket and a random gust of wind picked it up into the air, dangled it just above my head (as if God was taunting me…which He might have been) and then flew the bus pass off to parts unknown.
@LadyJenn Hey, don’t laugh at Bob!…that’s my job! HAW HAW HAW! Bob lost his bus pass, I mean, his keys! HAW HAW HAW!
Incidentally, having no artistic or writing talent sure doesn’t stop a lot of other webcomics.
@Viya R First of all, greetings to you! No worries about the artistic critique; I’ve had people flat out tell me that I suck, so your words are like sweet poetry in comparison.
Very amusing story (yes, ‘amusing’ as in entertaining) but also really suspenseful and shocking. I guess if you’ve survived through it (relatively) unharmed you can look back and laugh, but me, I’m just imagining this scenario in all sorts of frightening ways, with a lot of close calls and near-death experiences. Yikes!
In any event, I’m really happy people are relating their stories here, and yours is definitely an exciting (and, yes, amusing) one. Incidentally, it’s nice to hear from international readers; so if you hail from a land far, far away (which, to me, is anything beyond California) feel free to share some of your cultural stories in regard to how stupid SCAPULA is to you!
…as for the stupidity of youth, well, do you think I’d be making a comic like SCAPULA if I were in my sixties? Now’s the time to be stupid!
Heck with it, I’m going to do another comment on an old strip. Maybe some autobot magic will occur somewhere and draw more readers for you. Or not.
Did Knuckle Sam ever meet up with her real father? I don’t think you ever showed us.
And I love her expression in panel 4. “Is this my true love calling to hook up with me?” Nahh, it’s just Scapula. What a disappointment!