BONE CHINA pt.19
When the battle gets rough…get someone else to fight it for you.
Some of you might be wondering why Scap didn’t just call his old acquaintances together in the first place to take out the Miscreants. The answer to that is that supervillain teams are harder to gather and hold together than most pop bands. Over the course of the webcomic series the villains have only gotten together twice, and neither time was the alliance particularly successful. Having a group of hostile bastards who all see themselves as masterminds amongst morons will always cost you, and needless to say Scap is going to have to shell out some major cash or favors to them (and trust me, you don’t want to have to owe ‘major favors’ to Hypnausea…).
Next week…the final encounter!
Ol’ Scap sure has moved up a few notches on the Competencometer. I’d say he’s gone from Snidely Whiplash to Skeletor, completely bypassing that unfortunate Cobra Commander stage.
You bring up an interesting notion: what would the Villain-O-Meter look like? Where would you place, say, the Shredder? Megatron? Bowser?
I can only hope Scapula ranks slightly higher than some of the more moronic villains; maybe place him somewhere between Team Rocket and Dick Dastardly and Muttley.
It’s hampered by the different incarnations, though. Do you mean old-school Saturday Morning Cartoon Shredder, complete with Krang, or the new ‘edgy’ TMNT Shredder which sort of combined the two? For that matter, Baxter Stockman’s a comic-relief Human Fly-knockoff in the former and a moderately-competent roboticist in the latter.
Mumm-Ra was one of the few, consistently-serious-and-threatening villains of that generation. Skeletor too often got the idiot ball, Cobra Commander was a nasally coward without even *Skeletor’s* level of combat ability/leadership, Megatron never learned to get rid of Starscream…
In any case, I’d still put Snidely Whiplash near the bottom, below even Boris and Natascha, Team Rocket, Emperor Pilaf, Dick Dastardly, Pete, Elmer Fudd and Waluigi. He might have had the classic villain style, what with the handlebar moustache and tying women to train tracks, but he still comes in last. Not because his persistent foil was a brickheaded do-gooder, but because he continually tried to take over *Canada*. And *failed*.
I have to admit I wasn’t a huge fan of the post-2000 Ninja Turtles series, although it did have a great series finale, the feature length “Turtles Forever”. Even after seeing both the old, goofy Shredder and the new, “cool” Shredder (“cool” in quotes because I didn’t find him remotely interesting) I still have to side with the old one. Sometimes personality is worth a lot more than just having a character that’s a badass.
As for Baxter, I did like how the newer series restored his African-American heritage. Having black villains isn’t racist, it’s variety!
I never saw much ‘Thundercats’. but Mumm-Ra and his mutant crew were all right. Cobra Commander and Starscream have a special favoring from me, since both were voiced by the late hilarious comedian Chis Latta.
Getting to the bottom of your barrel, yeah, I think most of those are about right. Not that they were bad characters, no, no, no (actually I’m not that familiar with Pilaf, and all I know about Waluigi is the somewhat perverted “thrust dance” he does), but they probably weren’t capable of catching a dead squirrel. And finally, the inability to take over Canada…well, that sounds about right for Snidely Whiplash. Or Cobra Commander.
You guys are nuts. Not being able to take over Canada is no mark of shame, those guys are some of the toughest SOB’s on the planet. They’re right behind Poland in the ‘we will stomp you into the concrete’ ometer. People joke but Canadians are tough as nails, trust me. The fact Snidely survived as long as he did can largely be chalked up to canadian politeness!
I think the bottom rank would be covered by modern tv villains. You know, new shredder and the like. Why? Because they’re supposed to be world shatteringly powerful, well equipped deadly villains and all that ‘cool’ jazz, but seriously, they fail JUST as hard as the goofball 80’s guys and have no better competition. Hell I rate SCAPULA over most modern villains! He’s practically handicapped, an emotional cripple, and yet still he’s in the game for the long run!
It’s panel two that reminds you who Scapula really is. Creeeeeepy.
Every now and then I like to play up his fright factor…as long as you ignore the fact that he just got his butt kicked!
Yeah, but he seems pretty used to that at this point. Is “able to endure massive shitkickings” a superpower?
Actually, yes, I would think so. He doesn’t necessarily have a Wolverine-type ‘healing factor’, but he seems to have recovered from a high number of near-fatal injuries. That must be worth something!
After all of Homophobe’s tough talk, after actually coming face to face with a bisexual he runs like a rabbit in terror (not a particularly good idea as the sight of his butt may make Hypnausea a little more persistent).
Looks like ol’ Scap can finally chalk up a win. Bad guys or not, it was a good idea to anticipate trouble and call in help. Can’t see this little alliance lasting, but there’s no doubt the Miscreants meant trouble for Throgor, Toxsick, and Hypnausea too. After all, competition means slimmer pickings.
In any case, I hope Scap doesn’t jump to conclusions before he confronts Bone China. It’s possible she wasn’t a willing or knowing accomplice to the Miscreants. For all we know, the Miscreants could’ve simply been following Scap all along and had no interest in Bone China.
But, as usual, great artwork. I love the use of background shading to show a gloomy alley, with bright colors to illuminate the fight scenes and hard knocks.
If his name had been “Gay-Basher” or “Queer-Kicker” or whatever then his behavior would seem hypocritical…but he’s clearly called the Homophobe for a reason! I don’t know how harshly one can judge another person’s phobia, but I doubt this guy is going to get much sympathy.
It looks like Scap is going to owe his cronies a debt, but at the same time he didn’t seem to have much trouble convincing them to come and kick this gang’s collective ass. Like you said, there’s only so many costumed freaks that can claim one city, and the ol’ Sinister Monster Doom Legion boys are it!
I’m also happy you noticed the color change. The little art snob inside of me is strutting around with unbridled joy.
Brilliantly done – a battle of the counterparts. Animal juggernaut vs the same, toxic butt vs toxic gun, and … oh yeah last one is the best of em ALL … homophobe taken down by the guy who sets off sprinklers when he walks by.
Priceless. And proof that Scapula is a bit more wise and strategic than people give him credit for.
And oh yeah … the chance occurrence of the homophobe’s flight from Hypnausea just happening to line up with the site wallpaper where Hypnausea is getting his nipples nearly ripped off (IIRC he actually liked that, and asked them to do it again …) is really just the cherry on top.
Fate’s got your back this time, heh.
Hmm…it’s not showing up like that on my computer…EGAD! Maybe I need a bigger computer screen! With huge subwoofers and all the extra huge adjustments that we manly men need to have! WHERE’S MY DAMNED CREDIT CARD?!
…but I’m glad you enjoyed that.
The funny thing is I hadn’t planned it out that way. It was just a happy coincidence that both gangs lined up so well. A more optimistic person would praise that kind of coincidental alignment, while some of the grouches out there probably think I’m recycling characters or running out of ideas!
This is a great update. Panel 2 is pure awesome. Also fight fire with fire.
Jim
I thankyuh, Jim. Fight fire with fire, unless if your house is burning down.
When violence is the answer, it is the only answer that will work. Large person overcome by larger, more violent “person”. Peace through superior firepower.
Hypnausea is amusing only when she-him is interacting with someone else. ” Yoo-hoo ” must have sent panic coursing thru the veins of muscular man in tiiiiight pants.
Violence is only the answer when you’re a criminal or a jerk. Most every character around here is one or the other.
But I hope all of you dear readers can be smart and peaceful and learn to solve your problems with logic, understanding, and perhaps even pathos. Otherwise…you might just be like the jerks in SCAPULA. This concludes my after-school special message.
Finally, I really get a kick out of when readers are confused by Hypnausea’s gender.
Having done the violence thing for faaaar too long, I encourage people: learn to fight. But choose not to. It rarely ends well! Believe me.
Hahahaha, oh god. That panel with the homophobe. Run phobe, run!
Nyahahahah! Woob woob woob woob woob!
Go for it, Hypnausea! Have fuuuun, girl!
Unusual foresightful of Scap to hire henchmen. Is he learning at last? Scary thought, a Scapula that is actually efficient.
– But not as creepy as Toxsick. That is one icecold bastard in the second to last panel. A real professional. Wont want to come in his way.
It does look like Scap is finally getting some sense knocked into his head. And it only took, what, eleven concussions?
There’s been quite a few readers who have surmised that Toxsick is the most dangerous member, if not for his general apathy. Who knows what would happen if he really put his mind towards a diabolical plan?
But that’s a story for some other time. For now, it’s BONE CHINA!
on second thought; better get done over by toxsick quick and remorseless than enduring fantasyfull toture by some of the more creative or talkative villains. he would be bound to get the job done to collect his rewards and go home, so relatively low chance on suffering. (seems I found the positive side of his…well, sort of)
Hey, why waste your time monologuing to your victim when you can just gas ’em and go enjoy a cold beer?
exactly
As noted by our dear Dr. Trevor.
Next time, we’ll see scapula going to the dentist. And Scapula will have to shell out much more cash, than for the help he got from his friends.
Maybe an orthodontist or some sort of specialist; Scap’s teeth were long ago replaced (along with the rest of his face), so he’s just going to have to order up another batch of nice yellow dentures. Here’s hoping he has enough cash left over to pay those other guys!
Beautiful…… just beautiful! What can I say, it’s nice to see ‘the gang’ showing the new kids how to mix it up hardcore! A perfect combo to mess up these lads.
Scapula is starting to get his timing down. He’s really learning when to shell out for the help.
Hope the Miscreants can swim….. Rhino might have problems with that arm and Disgusto is a flab beast, but Homophobe could probably swim to China with that much motivation!
Maybe he should have done it sooner, but in any event it looks like better late than never. As long as he can keep these bastards well-fed and amused he might just have a working crew at his beck and call…but, of course, that’s going to take some panache (and cash).
It’s pretty common for people to survive plummets off of the old Golden Gate (Scap himself was tossed off in A CRAPPY CRIME CAPER), so their odds of survival are modest. Why would he risk having them survive? That’s also a story for another time.
Would the Homophobe swim to China?…or maybe Bone China?
*Gaaaaasp!* Things are coming to a conclusion. It seems like each Miscreant found their match in Scaps gang. Kinda perfect.
Again, coincidence, but it seems to have worked out well! Maybe I should have included another two-headed woman in the Miscreants gang?
A clown died that night. No one is going to be laughing for much longer.
As long as the dead clown was Harley Quin I’ll be happy. I can’t stand that little pest!
Bite your tongue sir! My favorite episode of the original Batman: TAS was ‘Harley and Ivy’. I’m pretty sure they had a thing going on with each other too.
I’ll concede that “Mad Love” was pretty good, both animated and in comic form.
I understand that Paul Dini has confirmed this.
I almost feel inclined to blow off Paul Dini simply for being attached to that godawfully unfunny “Ultimate Spider-Man” show…but it’s hard to hate anyone who gave us “Batman: The Animated Series”.
Wow, I really AM a snotty fanboy!
From the man’s own hand (slightly NSFW): http://www.harley-quinn.com/ivy/cluelessharley.jpg
Whoops, that was Bruce Timm’s art, not Paul Dini’s. Still…
I love “Yooo HOooooo”… Ah… there’s my hero, Hypnausia. I thought of you, Dada, and Mr. Nausia…whilst in California Adventure. They have this thing called the Mad T Party, a band/drinking/dancing party thing… and Mr. Nausia’s hat is everywhere…you may need to sue.
In any case… this story has really gotten to the crazy fun interesting part. I just love Romantic Drama… and beat them up action! Kudos.
Aww, thanks Brig! I don’t know whether or not the ‘Mad Hatter’ angle would be an interesting way to take Hypnausea, but it’s a fun thought. There are far too many hack artists to count who openly steal from Alice in Wonderland, so Hypnausea (the biggest hack of them all) raping the legacy of Lewis Carroll seems to make sense.
Hypnausea’s suname is actually Alison, although this was chosen in honor of Alice Cooper.
As for the romantic drama, there’s plenty more of that left to come!
Why always Wonderland? Why no Oz-themed villains?
I would feel more inclined to delve deeper into the Oz books before choosing the right villain; the problem with that is most everyone only knows Oz from the MGM musical, so choosing obscure characters like the Gump or the Kalidas will be lost on many readers.
Worst comes to worst I can just do a Flying Monkey guy. That could be wacky.
Scap could have more constant contact with his gang if he wouldn’t have turned away The Bearman. Jackass..haha.
You’re never going to get over that, are ya? C’mon, man, even Pete Best had to move on with his life at some point!
Maybe Pete Best got over it, but Stewkey (of the Nazz) apparently never did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX0c_R5CFyg
The Bearman is going off to start his own unsuccessful group ala Pete Best
…then he’ll go buy a DVD player at Pete Best Buy.
This has been the ultimate edition of Scapula! I liked everything about it. I hadn’t taken notice before that all of the Miscreants are similar anti-versions of Scap’s gang. You’ve been thinking deeply again, Aidan.
Scap’s dialogue was freakin’ perfect. Roger Stern couldn’t craft better lines. I’m on pins, needles, and prozac waiting for next week’s comic.
And is it me, or is your artwork getting crisper and crisper? Good job, guy!
…this is usually about the time when George would ask me if he could borrow a large amount of cash!
But seriously, glad you enjoyed, bro; I can only hope to please this well on the rest of the stories from here on in. I have to admit that I had to look up Roger Stern, and it turns out he wrote a number of great comics, including two classic Spidey stories “Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut” and “The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man” (which I oh-so humbly parodied in the first SCAPULA book).
Excelsior!…and all that other stuff as well!
Glad to see the back end of the Miscreants with this long-merited comeuppance. Love the storyline, but my gaze is drawn as iron to a magnet to El Disgusto’s flabby nipples. They have started to haunt my dreams.
If and when El Disgusto ever returns perhaps I’ll show some sympathy for my readers and stick him with a bra, or at least a tube-top. Hey, anything to satisfy you all!
Hmm…
I thought I was safely up-wind from your fifth panel, but man…
something’s wafted over…
*cough gag wheeze*
PHEW! Open a window! I know these comics usually stink, but today…whewf!
You know, I almost feel sorry for the Miscreants.
Nah, Just kidding. They deserved it!
They deserved worse! Wooly Rhinoceros deserved elocution lessons, Homophobe deserved one of those ‘tolerance seminars’, and El Disgusto deserved a good bath, preferably through a car wash!
Hey! Scap’s amigos get to win this one!
Supervillain gangs have to be difficult to assemble… when you consider that they are non known for their teamwork skills… and that by nature, they are supervillains because they don’t play well with others in normal society!
The only villain groups I’ve seen that last for a somewhat longer period of time is when the leader is a super-powerful ’emperor’ type (or at last significantly more powerful than his/her underlings), but even those can be overthrown. Gangs like this, when the only superiority is how well you can sell others on your usefulness, never seem to last much longer than the next gig.
Man I was surprised his buddies came to his rescue
“Buddies” might be too strong of a word; they’re united in their love for cash and hatred of others!
I have to admit, when I first read through the archive, I don’t recall seeing a reason. Why doesn’t he have his horns anymore? Especially since his site banner and everything still advertise the fact he has horns?
The horns were dropped for a number of reasons, the main one being they’re difficult to draw into good compositions. Fitting Scapula’s horns into a panel required a lot of fudging (cropping part of a character’s head, even something like horns, is a compositional no-no unless if you’re doing an extreme close-up).
The horns did last long-enough to peg Scapula as a ‘devil wannabe’ type, but in the course of the ongoing stories they became unnecessary and difficult to manage. Nonetheless they remain a somewhat-interesting visual, hence their appearance in the banner.
…and finally, they make him look like a goat, which is silly.
By the way, is that Bone China in the New Reader? section? Dressed as Gaymans Death? Fitting somehow. You must be loved by death to survive all the shit Scap has…
– so far…
– so good…for NOTHING!
That’s her, although her profile info will be updated as soon as this story ends. The picture of her is the same as her first appearance, only blacked out to be dark and mysterious and Gothy.
The gang’s all here and the desserts are OH so just! That’s what fiends are for! Superbly done, Aidan!
Thanks, Mark! A fiend in need is et cetera et cetera!
Why is it that villains, more often than not, are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better than the heroes?
Good question, and one which has pretty much been the entire basis of the SCAPULA series! I think in this case it’s just that villains offer so much more creative freedom and story ideas than self-imposed super-powered police, but I guess it all depends on the individual hero or villain (and creator).
Villains are the movers and shakers in a superhero story. Where a high fantasy hero might legitimately have the goal of “conquer the kingdom, get the treasure,” in a superhero story that goal is transferred to the villains. Superheroes, by contrast, are defenders of the status quo. Their job is to keep everything out of the villains’ grubby mitts and make sure everything stays as is.
So yeah, the villains get to be more interesting. They’re just trying harder.
Again, I guess that all goes back to which hero or villain is in question, but I think you’ve nailed it on the whole. It’s interesting how you bring up the “conquering hero” parallel; in a lot of villains’ eyes, what they’re doing is exactly like. Not all of them (some are fully aware that they just want to be bastards), but a good number believe themselves to be the hero of their own private movie being played out in their heads.
Sure. Conan of Cimmeria in the Hypoborean Era: Hero.
Conan of Cimmeria in Marvel Universe New York: Villain.
And not one damn thing would have changed about him except the setting.
I think with me, the villain, or at least the comical villain, shows the underdog or the anarchist. They have a greater honesty than the goody two shoes hero which I’ve always loathed. The boy scout hero noble hero always shows me the real evil, I don’t know why though.
Of coarse there are real villains like Nazis, corporations and Republicans
Hey, don’t go comparing George W. Bush to the Nazis! The Nazis had feelings too, y’know!
A clever writer and artist can always do something new and appropriate with an established character, as long as there’s a LOT of care and creativity involved. More often than not it’s just a shameless reboot where the hero is turned into a gritty, intense anti-hero, and that’s just pathetic.
Oh GOSH, what just happened! I feel like I was thrown out of reality and into a roller coaster of chaos! Great strip
Hey, thanks chinchilla-girl! I’ll pass on the roller coaster; too many theme-park memories of seeing people ralph their guts up after riding the more intense coasters!
Ooooo thanks for posting, Jenn. I meant to put your comic on my “to-read” list but somehow it didn’t make it. Checking your link reminded me, and I’ve got it next on the list to make up for the error. 😀
So if you see a sudden spike in site activity next couple days, it’s just me. “Im in ur sitez rummagin yer arkivez!”
It’s to your credit, quite how satisfying it was to read those guys getting their asses kicked. Very curious what happens next. 😀
Never have I longed for Sunday afternoons so much as now I read Scap and Oglaf.
On a mildly disturbing side note, as (kindly?) pointed out by my partner… I bought a purple topper this week, and when worn with the brocade jacket I wanted to pair it with… I look like I’m cosplaying as Hypnausea. Goth hair streaks and all.
I don’t know if I’m proud or a little disgusted with myself (is this the correct sensation?).
Anyway, from this… You should totally have a fan costume/photo contest!
Which I wouldn’t enter because I’m cripplingly insecure, but I thought it was worth suggesting.
I will say this: anyone who cosplays as a SCAPULA character and sends me a photo will get a personalized sketch from me e-mailed back to them. Seriously.
[just nothing obscene or pornographic…well, any more obscene or pornographic than what usually appears in one of these comics]
Make it happen, people! Why make yet another Optimus Prime costume when you could be Tigadactyl or Seal Sakuro?
Haha, if only I could get Mike into costume. He could easily pass as draped-coat and hat Scap, especially the unfortunate posture and lanky figure (…I’m so loving). Would just have to convince him to let me do that face…
Short of Photoshopping I’m not sure how that would work? What do you picture?
Whoever Photoshopped on their Halloween costume? Just play dress up and have fun!
…and hey, passed out friends at parties are just begging for a Scapula-faced make-up job!
I would be tempted to do this, Dada, except for one minor issue …
… with my body type, my choice of characters to cosplay would be a disturbing bunch (like El Disgusto). (ponders) But I bet I could do Toxsick and get away with it, especially if I used trickery like they did on John Rhys-Davies to make a real-life giant look like a dwarf … hmmmmmmm ….
Stay tuned, I’ll get back to you on that after I have a meeting with my expert costume-maker (who I married). Check out some of her work:
http://taffeisjournal.com/vc04_239.JPG
That’s me in an authentic greatkilt she made from scratch (simulated furry boots and sporran she made too) and although mine is paired with accessories we got from various renn faires, her outfit (that’s her next to me in the photo) is 100% custom made by her.
Hey, let your imagination go wild! If a really cool actor like John Rhys-Davies can get away with it, then I’m sure you can, too!
Not that you should feel restricted to one type of body type for character choices. Be surreal! Dress up as Dadaman or Mira Mira or something completely nuts!
In that last panel, I can’t figure out which part of Scap’s statements the Miscreant is replying “…Wait, what?” to–being thrown off the bridge, or that Scap knows (or thinks he knows) who the boss is.
Probably the whole thing; that’s a lot of info to take in, especially when someone is as stupid as El Disgusto.
I get the feeling that whether Hypnausea catches him or not, Homophobe is gonna go home happy. XD
I am also massively impressed with anybody who can dance or run in high heels. Hypnausea is a man of many talents!
Homophobe is probably going to go home and cry into his pillow for a while…wait, scratch that. Homophobe is GETTING TOSSED OFF OF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE!
I think Hypnausea’s skill with walking/running/jumping in heels comes from carefully studying the master of such things, Eddie Izzard.
I love the way you’re holding back the reveal about the Bone China character. Still wondering. Is she? Isn’t she? If she isn’t, will Scap blow it with his accusations, if she is will he feel comforted by the inevitability of his betrayal?
Now, where’d she get to?
The reveal is this Sunday! I’ve kept you all waiting long enough: this Sunday the whole thing (pretty much) comes out! And misinterpret that last sentence however you like!
Scap is kicking it into high gear. Loving the action!
Thanks, Tony! High gear action coming right up!
/stupidandunnecesaryrant mode on
Haha! “the boss told us what a sissy wuss you are!” El Disgusto just spilled the beans about who the boss is…
Hello, just found out this comic a few weeks ago and I gotta say I like four things a REAL lot about it:
1:The art’s detail and cartoon style, which are a grand piece of work (at least the way I see it).
2: The expressions and character design. (great WTF face on the homophobe on this one) XD
3: The plot and character personalities, specially the “evil, but not really his fault, and not so good at it, either” main character.
4: Last but not least, the fact that the author takes a huge deal of his time off to answer EVERY post on his comment section. If I weared a hat, I take it off right now in commendability of it.
One of the very few other webcomics in which the author also does that (and I can recall right now) is http://www.coffincomics.com. Originally a world of warcraft webcomic that evolved into popular culture, gag-a-day, which I highly recommend.
(Sorry for using my first post here to give a link, but a fan’s gotta spread the word ’bout what he likes, am I right?)
P.S. Being an spanish native speaker meeself, I can say the word “disgusto” doesn’t mean “disgusting”, but rather tranlates as “displeasure”. Gusto means “taste” or “pleasure”.
Thank you for reading my idiotic rant, (yes, I’m talking to YOU!). 🙂
/stupidandunnecessaryrant mode off
Whoops! Wrong link!
http://coffin-comics.jesterbrand.com
Hey, in America there is no rant that is stupid and unnecessary! Grab a soapbox (or a blog post!), get up there and shout your opinion on anything, whether or not people care! Freedom of speech, and freedom of dumbness, lives on!
To go through your list of lovely things you’ve said.
1) Thank you very kindly.
2) Thank you very kindly.
2) We’ve had the “evil, but not necessarily his fault” debate many times in the comments section, and I leave it up to you on whether you agree or disagree with that. That said, thank you very kindly.
4) Hey, it only takes a minute for me to whip out a flippant, snotty answer to everyone’s comments! The day will come when I’m too big and important and wear a stuffy suit to communicate with the little people anymore, but for here and now it’s good to know that some folks took the time out of their busy workdays (spent looking at webcomics) to leave their comments. Thank you very kindly.
I’ll check out Coffin Comics sometime. Normally some webcomics get pissy about people leaving links in their comments section…but I say as long as you’re linking to comics or something relevant it’s okay around here. There’s only so much Spam I have to deal with on a daily basis.
And finally, thank you for the translation of El Disgusto’s moniker. Disgust and displeasure both seem to wrap him up rather neatly!
But when you think about it, the whole group represents one overall concept: stereotypical American-centric ignorant behavior. And one of the top on that list is adding “el” before a word then an “-o” to the end of it, and thinking you just translated something to Spanish. Something which those of us who actually took Spanish find hilarious at best, heh.
But in the character’s case, I took it as a deliberate move on Dada’s part to highlight the ignorance of the idiot who was using it. 😀
Shoulda kept your mouth shut, Dada, it looked like *style*. 😉
Guess I shoulda’ named him ‘El Barto’!