HOUSE OF SCAPULA pt.5
Ask any esteemed film critic what the best classic horror movie is and I’ll bet you a thousand corpses they’ll say Bride of Frankenstein (1935). I’ve never understood the appeal of this film; it’s not bad, really, it’s just not as great as the cinema snobs would like us to believe.
Of course, my harsh opinion of Bride of Frankenstein is mainly directed at its most notorious character: no, not the Bride, but the excruciatingly annoying Minnie the maidservant, a godawful character who’s just as irritating as she is unfunny. James Whale was often remembered for his queer sense of humor (queer as in queer, not ‘queer’, although he was that, too), and he thought having a screeching old twit appear in nearly every scene, shrieking like a tortured parrot, would be “a hoot”.
So, in this case, Scap really is Knuckle Sam’s father?
Well, technically, anyway…
Kinda, sorta, innaway…it all depends if you’re one of those people who subscribe to the theory that Dr. Frankenstein is technically the Monster’s father.
If you’re one of the people who subscribes to SCAPULA (and there IS that option, y’know!), then you just sort of take all the stupidity in stride!
He… He wants to commit incest?!?! (Oh no, wait, scratch that. Hunchback called for being first.)
“Incest and peppermints…”
Sorry, no pun is too low for me!
Glad the con went well. I just watched the Peter Cushing version (I think he made 5 or 6) I think this one was Frankenstein Makes Woman
Peter Cushing was a marvelous Dr. Frankenstein, although I have to admit I have yet to see ‘Frankenstein Created Woman’. I do get a kick out of ‘Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell’, where Cushing is wearing what can only be described as a Carrol Channing wig.
If you want to see a criminal waste of him and Christopher Lee’s Dracula, I’d recommend my very favorite bad movie, Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires. It’s Hammer’s first (and I believe last!) attempt at a kung fu movie.
Heard of it, but have yet to see it. I know it’s on DVD somewhere (a lot of Hammer’s films are still only available on import, different region DVDs), but have yet to summon the courage to watch it!
I’d imagine if you were to mention this movie to Christopher Lee he’d give you a good swat in the face. He may be in his nineties, but I still wouldn’t mess with the man!
Minnie never really got to me like that. And without her, we wouldn’t have had Frau Blucher (panicked horse whinnies from off camera).
Hmmmmm….yeeeeeeeah, I guess she was the origin of that character (kinda, sorta). But comparing the supremely talented Cloris Leachman to the shrieking Una O’Connor is like comparing brownies to dog poo.
“BLUCHER!”
*panicked horse whinnies*
ARGH! I saw that movie way back and now I can hear that God-damned screeching harpy in my head all over again! It’s like having an angry parakeet on your shoulder. Thus, I applaud panels 4 and 5 to an infinite degree!
So interestingly, I’ve noticed you can’t actually get any kind of work done in a room that people keep organizing. Yeah, it’s nice to have everything where it goes, but for actually working, you just can’t have things tidy. It’s not possible. This, at least to me,explains why people who are always working on research, art, mechanical stuff or what have you seem to always be up to their ears in piles of junk! Just a funny thing I noted….. ever want to drive a working man nuts, clean up his workspace every time he leaves it, hehehehehehehehehehe.
Sooooo, I’ma gonna have to beat Igor, throw him out a window, and take over that dibs, I think! Story prediction…… this is gonna hurt.
PS: Love the tiny creature from the black lagoon in a jar hun! That’s fantastic….. he’s one of my favorite old school horror icons!
The ‘killing Minnie’ sequence was something I had planned for a previous, non-SCAPULA horror series that never got off the ground, but I am glad I got to use it here.
I don’t think that you CAN’T get work done in a clean environment, it’s just that creative people can never seem to keep their work environments clean for long. It just happens. Clutter and mess will magically accumulate while you work, then sneak up on you and BOOM! You look up and notice the place has gone to sh_t…all without you even noticing!
The Creature from the Black Lagoon is still one of my very favorite monsters, and while he didn’t really fit with the story at hand I figured it would be nice to get him in there somehow.
As for the lady on the table, well…let’s wait and see what she’s like before we all go fighting over her. No refunds on that bit of merchandise!
Hey, I’d just be glad to have someone around to use my gym equipment as much as me.
I wanna know what that unpublished scapula story was about…
It wasn’t a SCAPULA story, just a horror anthology series I was going to make back in college. Scap came along afterwards and took up the rest of my time.
This story is sort of just smashing the two wishes together.
Love the little jar. 🙂
Embarrassingly my entire exposure to that film was to see it projected onto a wall during a DJ’s set. The upside was I didn’t hear any of the dialogue.
Be glad there was no audio. Trust me, Minnie could ruin any song!
I’ve been to a few goth/industrial clubs where horror movies are projected on the walls (usually The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari or Nosferatu). For Universal monster movies playing with rock music, just attend one of Rob Zombie’s live shows. Rockin’ monster heaven!
“Let’s go up to the lab and see what’s on the slab.”
I shivered with antici…
…wait for iiiiiiiit…
…pation!
Why do I keep coming back here only to find blood everywhere and little old (annoying) ladies stabbed and stomped to death, not necessarily in that order!? Must be your natural charm, Aidan. >.>
:`D
They had it coming! They had it coming! They only had themselves to blame!
(yes, I am tangoing about with a feather boa and fishnets while typing that).
Man-made and built like a brick….. You-know-what house.
She’s mighty-mighty, lettin’ it all hang out.
Oh how I only WISH she would let it all hang out….. Le sigh…..
Hmmm. A “man-made woman”? I wonder if this goes along with that great scene in “My Fair Lady,” where Henry Higgins sings, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” In this case, I suspect she will be, right down to desiring women…
I’ve never seen “My Fair Lady”, but have heard references to it on MST3K (actually, that’s where I learn a lot about culture).
As for what she desires, well…we’ll find out next week!
…pation!
(or, as we did it at the theater I first saw the movie at, in Orlando:
audience: “consti … consti …consti …”
Franky: “…pation!”
audience: “whew! that was hard to get out!”
gawd, I miss those days …)
ick, this was supposed to be a reply to Abel, above – would repost but then it would be doubled and this site won’t lemme delete goofed up posts. ::mutter::
Ah, the old Rocky Horror crowd: nothing beats seeing that show live (because, let’s face it, it’s an awful movie), and knowing that you’re surrounded but freaks who are just as big of jackasses as you and your friends is actually pretty comforting.
I miss those days, too.
Frankenstein isn’t my favorite classic frightful movie… I prefer Dracula… and I just saw, for the firstest time, The Mummy (original). I thought I’d seen it, but no! I found it refreshfully entertaining… all the women in early cinema are quite stupid and naive. Ah, well. Fun anyhow… as will be next episode… that’s SOME WOMAN on the slab there.
Now, at APE… how did I miss Evil Death… Man (sock puppet)? Dang it… Harold wanted a photo with him! Rats. Er, how’s your neck? Recovered? Sorry about that. Harold was low-blood sugar… he gets mean.
I guess I usually tend to side with the Dracula party instead of Frankenstein, but that all depends. Let’s look at some stats.
The BOOK
Dracula: Great story, memorable characters, terribly written.
Frankenstein: Great story, two memorable characters, well-written.
The SILENT MOVIES
Dracula: “Nosferatu”, made without permission from Stoker’s estate, great film.
Frankenstein: short subject made by the Edison company, Kinda’ weird.
The UNIVERSAL MOVIES
Dracula: Great casting for the leads (Bela Lugosi and Dwight Frye), great opening scene, sticks too closely to the stage play and gets kind of boring.
Frankenstein: Pretty good casting, completely abandons the book, good movie but sort of overrated by film historians.
WEIRD JAPANESE MOVIES
Dracula: “Lake of Dracula”. I haven’t seen it.
Frankenstein: “Frankenstein Conquers the World”. Frankie is a mutated child who grows into a giant caveman, battles a mutant dinosaur named Baragon, and in the end either gets swallowed up in an earthquake or eaten by a giant octopus. I friggin’ love this movie.
The CEREALS
Count Chocula: yucky. Kids don’t care.
Frankenberry: yucky. Kids don’t care.
…and that’s all I feel like writing for now. Anyone else want to contribute to the discussion? Post below.
The MUNSTERS
Dracula: Grandpa Munster
Frankenstein: Herman Munster
Call it even.
The 1970’S COMEDIES:
Love at First Bite: George Hamilton plays Dracula while sporting a very dark suntan (wait, what?). Much vampire movie lore gets spoofed, including Drac bemoaning “going through eternity dressed as a head waiter.”
Young Frankenstein: Mel Brooks’ masterpiece. ‘Nuff said, really.
Advantage: Frankenstein
I’ve only seen Love at First Bite once; I don’t remember it being bad, I just don’t really…remember anything about it.
Further proof that giving your movie title a lame pun is the kiss of death (Beetlejuice was almost renamed “Scared Sheetless” by studio execs…no kidding).
What do I have to do to meet “Tanya”? Oh, never mind–my gf would kill me.
What happens in webcomics land STAYS in webcomics land…
This was a joy to read all the way thru, Aidan. I’ve never watched “Bride of Frankenstein”, but I think your version is probably way more entertaining.
You parody/satire style artwork reminds me a lot of John Severin form the olde Cracked days. Not saying you’re biting his style, it’s just that I remember the fun of gawking at his awesome monsters and horror scenes.
Thanks for the mammaries! I mean, memories! 😀
Oh geez, sorry to reply to this one so late! I sometimes miss a few things when I forget to take my brain medicine (the kind that makes my brain work).
John Severin was a favorite growing up; I, too, read Cracked (back when it was a MAD rip-off and not the funny website it is now) and loved Severin’s stuff the most. I was surprised years later to find that he was one of the original artists on MAD back in the 50’s, and I ended up loving that work even more!
RIP, Mr. Severin.
Nice overview, Dada… you’d think you were some sort of monster expert or something. I’ve been on VincentPrice.org listening to the audio library… for all you Frightful Fun-seekers… grab some earphones and listen to the master lay down the horror.
…and, of course, you could always watch his movies!
To ramble off a few: House of Wax, House on Haunted Hill, The Last Man on Earth, Madhouse, Theatre of Blood, Comedy of Terrors, The Great Mouse Detective, and about a couple dozen others I’m forgetting.
(drops what he was doing, runs to the car, and races off to the mentioned part of the internet with squealing tires)
I don’t know, but I’ve been told, that big-legged woman ain’t got no soul!
What?! If they have no souls, then they can’t go to heaven!
AND IF HEAVEN AIN’T GOT NO BIG-LEGGED WOMEN THEN SEND ME TO THE OTHER PLACE!
Amen my brother, raise the choir, hallelujah!
a man made woman….. why don’t i see a good outcome to this…maybe im to pesimistic
Oh, c’mawwwn! Whoever heard of a bad outcome to a SCAPULA story?
Don’t answer that.