I hate children. They’re noisy, stupid, and they devour happiness like Galactus devours worlds. And yet people tell me I’m great with kids. I guess the only requirement is not defenestrating them.
Which is more than small, yappy dogs nipping at my feet get. Your Chihuahua gets the Field Goal treatment.
I used to board in a house with two chihuahuas in a neighborhood filled with chihuahuas. I don’t want to make any cracks about animal abuse, but geez…sometimes you think all you need to have peace and quiet is one good stomp!
Kids are certainly not for everyone, and while I think they’re okay at times I’m pretty sure I wasn’t meant to raise them. Times have changed a lot, and a lot of the things our parents used to do to keep us in line are seen as un-PC (there’s that term again! Damned political correctness).
I’m sure some of you have spanking stories to share (no, not THOSE spanking stories, Mistress!).
I adopted my son when he was 12, but I do like kids. They’re a good substitute for veal!
Seriously, I get along with kids until they can talk, then I usually want to throttle them. Crying I can hack, they have no other means of communicating. Even at 2 AM. And when you have as many half-siblings as I do, you babysit a lot. But man, when kids learn to talk and then won’t shut up, I have issues. As you might have guessed, I have issues with anyone that talks a lot but doesn’t convey any entertaining ideas or useful information.
It’s like what Homer Simpson said, “The sooner they learn how to talk, they learn how to talk back”.
Okay, maybe someone else said it, but I first heard it on The Simpsons. And hasn’t that show taught us a lot about proper parenting?…I mean, besides the strangling of children.
Wow, human kids! I wasn’t expecting that, I really wasn’t. Nice little altar in the background there. I don’t know why, but that baby kind of reminds me of a baby Michelin Man.
Baby fat is always funny, unless if it never quite grows off. I’ve seen more than a few adults who sort of look like giant babies…and I’ve also seen adults who act like giant babies!
I’ve heard some pretty ridiculous baby names in my time. While hippies still give their kids pretty goofy names, at least they’re not the numbskulls who name their babies after their favorite celebrity or TV show.
Somewhere, right at this moment, some seventeen-year old girl has just named her newborn ‘Snooki’. Pray for the future generations, my friends.
Not exactly… More like gross in “this sudden hate-love-relationship between Scap and Roommate is..” or “sweet talk from someone who names their kids this is quite gross…” or “gues who’s finding himself on an not so wiccan sacrifice altar…” -wait the last one isn’t gross, that’s interesting.
I think human sacrifices would be found in some other religions (I dunno, do any Wicca readers wish to confirm or deny offering living flesh and souls to a higher power?), but it is an interesting scenario.
I’ve met kids with worse names (Rubi Venus Lightbeam, for example). I’ve also met roomies with colder dispositions (usually after they noticed all the bruises and rope burns on the room mate I was playing with). Both at once I don’t often encounter, thankfully. I forsee a bit of a bumpy ride for Scapula!
The latest crowning achievement of weird names has got to go to Jason Lee’s son, Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee.
The REALLY weirdest baby name I heard of was one in the early twentieth century, when some parents gave their child a name consisting of about two dozen consonants (but it was pronounced “Albin”), until the courts made them change it. If those parents weren’t Dadaist then I’ll stick a urinal in an art gallery!
So, I have been reading along for a while since you introduced Moonie (FB reminded me I had been neglecting it for a while) and have been loving it, but the room mate makes this especially hilarious…. I look forward to seeing where this goes 🙂
I like children more than I do babies, unfortunately. My wife feels otherwise. She likes babies a lot more. I wonder what Scapula is gonna do in this situation.
I hate children. They’re noisy, stupid, and they devour happiness like Galactus devours worlds. And yet people tell me I’m great with kids. I guess the only requirement is not defenestrating them.
Which is more than small, yappy dogs nipping at my feet get. Your Chihuahua gets the Field Goal treatment.
I used to board in a house with two chihuahuas in a neighborhood filled with chihuahuas. I don’t want to make any cracks about animal abuse, but geez…sometimes you think all you need to have peace and quiet is one good stomp!
Kids are certainly not for everyone, and while I think they’re okay at times I’m pretty sure I wasn’t meant to raise them. Times have changed a lot, and a lot of the things our parents used to do to keep us in line are seen as un-PC (there’s that term again! Damned political correctness).
I’m sure some of you have spanking stories to share (no, not THOSE spanking stories, Mistress!).
Aw, fine……
I adopted my son when he was 12, but I do like kids. They’re a good substitute for veal!
Seriously, I get along with kids until they can talk, then I usually want to throttle them. Crying I can hack, they have no other means of communicating. Even at 2 AM. And when you have as many half-siblings as I do, you babysit a lot. But man, when kids learn to talk and then won’t shut up, I have issues. As you might have guessed, I have issues with anyone that talks a lot but doesn’t convey any entertaining ideas or useful information.
Also: goodness, but the roomie seems chilly!
It’s like what Homer Simpson said, “The sooner they learn how to talk, they learn how to talk back”.
Okay, maybe someone else said it, but I first heard it on The Simpsons. And hasn’t that show taught us a lot about proper parenting?…I mean, besides the strangling of children.
It’s all about the owners. I live with too lesbians, one has a pug, the other has a golden chihuahua and they are fine. So are the dogs.
*Standing applause*
My Oscar speech was cut off by the orchestra. Philistines!
It was either the orchestra or Kanye West. You lucked out.
Wow, human kids! I wasn’t expecting that, I really wasn’t. Nice little altar in the background there. I don’t know why, but that baby kind of reminds me of a baby Michelin Man.
Baby fat is always funny, unless if it never quite grows off. I’ve seen more than a few adults who sort of look like giant babies…and I’ve also seen adults who act like giant babies!
Oh, so actual kids after all. Well played, you had some of us totally on the wrong guessing track.
The Marla character is a nice touch.
We’re about to learn that “Marla” and “nice” usually don’t wind up in the same sentence. Unless, of course, you toss in a “not”!
Things just went from groovy to chilly in 2.6 seconds.
“Star River and Zephyr.” Oy. Every day I wake up thankful my parents were a banker and a secretary…
I’ve heard some pretty ridiculous baby names in my time. While hippies still give their kids pretty goofy names, at least they’re not the numbskulls who name their babies after their favorite celebrity or TV show.
Somewhere, right at this moment, some seventeen-year old girl has just named her newborn ‘Snooki’. Pray for the future generations, my friends.
I know at least one woman who named her child “Pinkamena Zecora” after two characters from My Little Pony.
Egad! I considered naming my future children after Pokemon, then gradually changing their names based on the “evolutions”.
Then the booze wore off and I changed my mind.
Ok, I’Ve not the slightest idea where this is headed… well, got some ideas, but they are mostly gross.
Gross? Like what? They all fall into a giant pile of POOPOO? Tee hee hee…POOPOO.
As for finding out where this is headed, there’s only one way to do that: tune in tomorrow and keep following along!
Not exactly… More like gross in “this sudden hate-love-relationship between Scap and Roommate is..” or “sweet talk from someone who names their kids this is quite gross…” or “gues who’s finding himself on an not so wiccan sacrifice altar…” -wait the last one isn’t gross, that’s interesting.
I think human sacrifices would be found in some other religions (I dunno, do any Wicca readers wish to confirm or deny offering living flesh and souls to a higher power?), but it is an interesting scenario.
That’s why I wrote ‘not so wiccan’. ;P
Aaand, there are different way to sacrifice living flesh on an altar, mind you. Speaking of gross…
UH oh…Edgar is moving in on Marla’s woman
Or at least that’s what Marla thinks!
I’ve met kids with worse names (Rubi Venus Lightbeam, for example). I’ve also met roomies with colder dispositions (usually after they noticed all the bruises and rope burns on the room mate I was playing with). Both at once I don’t often encounter, thankfully. I forsee a bit of a bumpy ride for Scapula!
The latest crowning achievement of weird names has got to go to Jason Lee’s son, Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee.
The REALLY weirdest baby name I heard of was one in the early twentieth century, when some parents gave their child a name consisting of about two dozen consonants (but it was pronounced “Albin”), until the courts made them change it. If those parents weren’t Dadaist then I’ll stick a urinal in an art gallery!
I still like “Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake” as one of the worse names….
Never heard of that one! Where did it come from?
Oh dear gods, what a total boner killer. Poor Scap.
There’s still hope! Meteors fall out of the sky and crush people every day, donchaknow!
So, I have been reading along for a while since you introduced Moonie (FB reminded me I had been neglecting it for a while) and have been loving it, but the room mate makes this especially hilarious…. I look forward to seeing where this goes 🙂
Here’s hoping you enjoy! We’ll see just how well Scapula fares with Moonie and her meanie roomie.
I like children more than I do babies, unfortunately. My wife feels otherwise. She likes babies a lot more. I wonder what Scapula is gonna do in this situation.
Hopefully he won’t decide to have either children or babies! I’m sure you and Mrs. Ford have a LOT more patience and common sense than Scapula does!